I think I have Alzheimer's

I went to LDS Hospital the other night to visit a neighbor who just had a baby. (This hospital is NOT owned by the church, by the way. EVERYONE tells me this as if I’m concerned that the Church of Latter Day Saints owns the entire state of Utah. They do happen to be the largest property holder in the state, but OF COURSE we have separation of church and state here!) Anyway, I went to visit the new baby with Beth and we did the usual things. We brought her snacks, held the baby and talked about her birthing story. Even though I have been through this twice, I still don’t really enjoy this kind of girl talk. I feel out of place. Awkward, almost. I think it’s because I still am not ga-ga for babies. I love my kids, but sure don’t need anymore and I don’t terribly miss the baby stage. I don’t even remember it.

During the hour and a half we were there, multiple issues of babyhood and mothering a new baby came up. They talked about sleep cycles, feeding cycles, diapering, etc.
I had a hard time adding to the conversation because I have forgotten what it’s all about (or blocked it out). For example, another neighbor showed up and asked the new mom what the baby was eating. This of course led to nursing stories. New mom said that new baby was getting colostrum. The other neighbor was surprised because new mom’s milk should’ve been in by then. On and on it went. Who remembers this stuff? Who cares???? I tuned out which was easy to do because I had brought Ella and had to tend to her as she was a little restless after the first 15 minutes. Then, to bring me back in to the conversation, they asked me to swaddle new baby. Me? OK. I laid out the blanket, as I had probably done 50 million times before, and then laid new baby down. Then I was lost. Which side to you fold over first? Do you tuck in the bottom next or at the end? How do you get it really tight? I HAD NO CLUE.

I managed to get through it and then handed new baby off to someone else only to watch him free his arms from my lame swaddling job in about a half a second. At times like these, I am amazed that I am raising two children. Shouldn’t I be required to pass at test or something?