Ella! Get your mouth off the deli case!

Every parent has done this. Ventured out on an adventure, children in tow, expecting the best from their kids.

Last night I picked up my kids from their schools. Fairly smooth event. Only forgot Ella’s snow boots at her daycare and Harrison’s lunch box at his. Both kids were in decent moods and I decided that we needed to go to the grocery store and get it over with. It had been a long day for all of us (we’re all still recovering from our cross country trip), but I had confidence. I did have a carrot after all – a store that sells treats. What could be better than that?!

We first had to stop at home and change Ella’s diaper. This involved taking them out of car seats, bringing in all the worksheets, mittens, lunches, etc from the car, stripping Ella while yelling at Harry, to no avail, to stay in his coat, hat, mittens and boots so I didn’t have to redress him, and then getting into the kitchen fast enough to get ahead of the little hands that wanted FOOD. I fed them some sesame cookies (a wonderful Christmas gift from my Buddhist neighbors), changed the diaper and we were back in our coats, mittens, hats and boots within 10 minutes. The kids were still in a good mood and my naiveté was reinforced. I felt I could do this. Two on one would be NO problem.

Reality struck about the time we hit the grocery store parking lot. The backseat of my little VW Passat doesn’t keep the kids far enough apart. I love this feature when they are in loving moods and reach out to each other to hold hands. More often than not, however, it’s a bad feature because they can reach out and hit each other. They don’t punch – it’s more of a swat because their arms are quite long enough to be completely lethal. (It’s actually kind of funny, but I’m not supposed to admit that as a mom) I managed to get them out of their seats and into the door fairly unscathed. Then the biggest issue of any trip to the grocery store – the cart. Who is going to ride in the seat? Hang on the end? Are there any carts that have little cars with steering wheels? Which side does each one get in the car? It goes on and on.

Starting in Produce, Ella was in the seat and Harrison was on the back end. Each was very happy until the TOMATOES. A small, expensive box of cherry tomatoes. Ella held the box (poor move on my part – mothers know you NEVER give one child full control of a foodstuff!) in front of her on a little shelf on the cart between two drink holders. She made a really BIG deal about how great this little shelf was. I mean she went on and on and on. This of course REALLY bugged Harry. He had to see that shelf, better yet, be in the seat of the cart so that he could use that shelf. By the time we hit Dairy, Harrison was now in the seat and Ella was hanging off the end.

Between the fighting for tomatoes and seat time, I managed to get us over to the frozen food section while actually picking up a couple of things we needed. I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel as this was our last aisle. Both kids were out of, or off, the cart completely. They are now tall enough and strong enough to open the freezer doors and this was their mission. To open and SLAM shut as many doors as possible. I grabbed some Boca burgers, Hubby Chubby and frozen pizzas and we were outta there!

Checking out is never easy. It involves unpacking the cart, finding my Albertson’s card, swiping my credit card (which wasn’t easy last night and took FOUR separate swipes) while managing the behavior of my two children who had access to about four tons of candy down at their level. I paid my bill, loaded my cart and literally pried four of Harry’s fingers off the keyboard of the computer across from our cash register at the in-store bank. I dragged them out to the car and began the “going home” process (loading in car seats, etc.) while I watched my full cart of groceries roll down the aisle of parking lot until it ran into the light post. I left my kids in the car and got the cart back. Loaded the trunk and got in the car. As I told the kids about the vegetable pizza we were going to make after we got home, I noticed the time on my car’s clock – 7:07 PM. It would’ve been nearly 8:00 by the time they would be eating. I was really torn because I hate fast food and want so desperately to give my kids fairly decent meals at home, but I gave in to the pressure from the backseat and drove through the McDonald’s across the street.

It’s at times like this that I wish I didn’t have a full time job.