Ok. I've got an ethical dilemma.
Harrison goes to a phenomenal pre-school. He's learning to read, he has loving, involved teachers who are tolerant, and he is HAPPY. His classroom environment is cheerful and bright. They have fun, yet structured, activities and he is thriving!
Ella goes to a not-so-phenomenal pre-school. She is not learning to read, in fact she isn't even being introduced to the alphabet. Her teacher is, well, I don't really know much about her teacher. Today, in fact, is her teacher's first day. This is teacher number FOUR. What I'm saying is that since last August, she has had three other lead teachers in her room. Her most recent teacher was pretty good, but decided she couldn't handle it here and fled back to California. Ella's classroom environment has gotten brighter and more cheerful, but it doesn't have windows and that REALLY bugs me. She does like her school, though, and seems happy.
So - back to the dilemma - Harrison's pre-school Wonderful Director just called me to let me know that there is a space available for Ella in his school. What dilemma, you ask? What could be better than getting her into this amazing place? Nothing, but she has to be potty trained and she's not.
My head was spinning during the conversation with Wonderful Director. How can we afford her to start right now? (We have to give four weeks notice at Ella's school and with our current financial situation it will be pretty hard to pay a third daycare payment this month.) How can I negotiate a learning curve clause into this?
I casually mentioned my two concerns to Wonderful Director and she was very understanding. She agreed to hold the coveted spot for two weeks. (We can probably sell plasma to cover the difference.) She was understanding until I asked about leniency. "So" I said, "when you say potty trained...ummm...is that 70% potty trained or closer to 95% potty trained?" I actually said this. To Wonderful Director. Out loud. She hesitated. Probably because she couldn't believe I said something that stupid. Out loud. "95%" was her response, followed by this question that almost made me laugh LOUDLY, "Is she having lots of accident-free days?" I had little time to think through this question, so I just sputtered out an honest, "No." I then babbled on about how she got out of the tub last night to pee and how I was going to really get on her this weekend when we go out of town with Beth and her family. (Beth is completely behind this and promises wise Pee Jar strategies for me to use on Ella.)
Wonderful Director listened politely to my incessant spewing, but with this calm silence that really said to me - "Get your kid in underwear or she can't come here!"
Do you think a Pull-up can hold a day's worth of pee?
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7 comments:
I just commented on crazyus about how important it is for your kids to learn in a great environment (I catch myself again thinking "who am I commenting on other peoples problems" All right, it's gone again.) Having problems with my daughter's school right now (her teacher is sick all the time, it is much too noisy during class,.. Argh sensitive issue), if you feel that she could do it, take the pee jar and go for it.
Ah...is this fun weekend? Have a great time. One of my other regular reads (http://www.redhairedgirl.com) has recently potty-trained her son and she just made him start wearing his big boy pants. Mind you, I know nothing at ALL about potty-training (the dog came trained) but I will say that all that weak Utah beer made me fear that I might forget everything I knew about my own training. So keep Ella off the Old Olympia!
Best thing I ever did to hurry up the potty training process was to put underwear under the pull up. My daughter was a stubborn kid and didn't get trained easily and it worked with her. Pull ups are too easy to use just like a diaper, but when you put those panties on the inside, it's an icky feeling! It worked with my son too (and friends that I've told about it). Good luck!
Can I just say that potty-training is completely overrated? I mean, diapers are SO CONVENIENT! Damn this society and its "toilet training" obsession.
That said, Pull-Ups can definitely hold a day's worth of pee. Heck, they hold 12 hours worth of nocturnal peeing for my 3.5-year-old ... and I let him drink fluids right up until bedtime. They're soaked and they stink, but they hold like the Hoover Dam. Even the generic brands.
We JUST mastered potty-training over here. Not pooping, mind you. And now my child broke his leg and can't get himself to the toilet without being carried. Sigh. I shake an angry fist at the Pee gods.
Good luck!
I used the sticker book variation on the pee jar and it worked brilliantly. Nothing like a bit of bribery! That and some Thomas the Tank Engine big-boy pants.
Pull-Ups at the better school would buy you a bit of time if she isn't getting the hang of potty training and you could wait for a vacation to switch properly to underwear.
Oh and I can definitely vouch for the success of The House Doctor, Ann Maurice (and I'm not talking about potty training here!). We've sold two houses using some of her methods.
I babysat in highschool for this really stubborn determined smart kid...and he refused to do the toilet thing, he was 3.5-ish...his mother was sick of the diapers and said to him, "really, I'm tired of the diapers--I know you *can* use the toilet if you decide to. It's either that or you change your own diapers." ...to which he said "fine." and proceeded to change his own diaper--holy parenting backfire!!
Our 21 month old started asking for the potty, and knows how to go, but he also likes denying EVERYTHING. The best idea we've found so far is food coloring. Our hourly potty conversation goes something like this:
"Nikolai, do you need to go potty?"
"No."
"Nikolai, do you think you CAN go potty?"
"NO POTTY!"
"What color do you want?"
"BLUE/RED/GREEN!!!" and he takes off running for the bathroom. He usually pess standing up and really likes to watch the color "dance." This works for us sitting down too though.
For Nikolai, the novelty of the colors doesn't wear out, which is good since he doesn't yet understand the whole earning something little to get something big. If he goes in the potty he gets to wear his big-boys which seems to be reward enough for him. For a while we had him in big-boys all day long regardless of accidents, but he was just getting too stressed out by it. Sometimes he asks for a diaper, and so we let him wear one. He actually has far fewer accidents and doesn't pee in the diapers when we all stay really relaxed about the whole thing.
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