Extended Version

I want to thank you all for the kind words of support. I’m much better today as I knew I would be. Sleep is an amazing healer.

Harrison has forgotten or at least forgiven me for what happened. I have also forgiven myself. I do have a lot on my plate and I need to accept that the stress of it all will over take me if I don’t keep it in line.

Thought I’d clear up a few things about my face. I did go to a doctor about two days after it started last September. I had blood drawn and everything was fine. He referred me to a neurologist with suspicions of Multiple Sclerosis. October and November were extremely hard. I was convinced that I had this incurable disease.

The neurologist ordered an MRI brain scan and they found some white spots on my frontal lobe. Could be something – could be nothing. (I think they all take the same “how to give patients ambiguous answers” class in med school)

I then went to a cardiologist and had a echocardiogram and a TCD bubble test to see if my heart was leaking in any area which could release clots to my brain. This might be an explanation for the spots. That test came back negative. My heart is fine.

The next test to be administered was a spinal tap. I was extremely excited about this test - nothing better than laying on your stomach so that a HUGE needle can be inserted into your spinal column. The best part of the whole test was that I was told to lay flat for twenty four hours. If you don’t lay flat, you are more likely to cause an excruciatingly painful headache that would only be suppressed by another visit to the doctor. When I say “flat”, I mean no raised head. Originally, I had imagined a blissful day of sitting on the couch watching “Oprah” and “The Price is Right”, but it was so uncomfortable. By the end of the 24 hours, my body was all screwed up from lack of activity. I don’t know how my mom survives, day after day, not being able to walk much. It was unbearable for me. This test result took a week to come back. It was negative for MS, but positive for Lymes Disease. This required me to go see an Infectious Disease doctor. They reviewed my test results and told me that they were sorry to have wasted my time, but I indeed did NOT have Lymes. My neurologist had misread the results.

After this third test, I had started to accept my numbness and I accepted that my doctor was a nimwit. He suggested some other heart test, but I thought it was a reach. I went to get a second opinion for my sanity. I’m not sure if it helped with that or not. The new doctor did say that it couldn’t be trigeminal neuralgia or Bell’s palsy because my numbness is bilateral – it affects both sides of my face.

In about 6 months I’ll have another MRI brain scan. If the spots haven’t changed, I will just accept that it will always feel weird when my kids are on my lap and their hair rubs on my cheek. That’s okay in the scheme of things. I could have cancer. I am incredibly lucky to be healthy. Hell, I'll consider all of this my mid-life in-depth physical.