Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Random Thoughts

I have a belief that things happen for a reason, however I will not always know what that reason is, but it will make sense eventually. Unfortunately, there are two things going on in my life that don’t seem to have a reason: 1) my house being on the market in Wisconsin for over a year forcing financial hardship on us and 2) my mom’s cancer.


Chris and I researched many places to live. We visited many of them, compared cost of living, weather, attributes/deficits, etc. After much thought, we picked Reno, NV. It’s a growing community, near mountains, close to Lake Tahoe, wonderfully temperate weather and family friendly. We wanted a fresh start and liked the idea of not knowing a soul. Chris’ brothers live in Salt Lake and one of them had connections to a position at a great company. So much for planning – when Chris was offered the job, we jumped at the great opportunity and haven’t looked back. I LOVE the mountains and have adapted to it being a bit colder than Reno. Last summer I was in heaven. It was hot and dry most of the time. Unlike the Midwest, I rarely worried about rain ruining a picnic. It was incredible! While people griped about a six-year-drought, I secretly jumped for joy. This past winter it snowed 600 inches up at Snowbird – a ski resort about 40 minutes from my house. The rain has not stopped for the past three or four weeks. Utah is expecting record floods in parts of the state. Just my luck. The clouds and rain are affecting my emotions and motivation. I now wonder if we landed in Seattle instead of the desert.


Harrison and Ella are really becoming friends and playmates. I pray that this will continue to grow and foster. I do not remember a time in my life when I truly liked my brother, Mark, as harsh as that sounds. We bickered and fought as kids into adulthood. I keep those memories in the back of my head all the time. They are pushed forward whenever I see the kids “fighting” over toys, etc. I know my parents wanted us to be friends and can’t help but wonder what happened. Why didn’t we bond like so many siblings I run across? Mark called me on Sunday to talk about my parent’s announcement. We talk on the phone about three or four times a year. He’s a single dad with three kids living in a suburb of Minneapolis. We would get the cousins together two or three times a year when we lived in Wisconsin. I’ve tried to be a better friend – to look beyond our differences and start anew – but haven’t had much luck.

While on the phone with him this weekend, he sounded like an adult instead of the little boy I grew up with. He is the only other person on earth who has my mother as a mother. He should be who I turn to right now. He was reaching out and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. We talked about pulling together through whatever is going to happen in our near future. He and I will have to sort through all of my parent’s things. He and I will have to help my dad plan for what is best for my mom. He and I will be responsible for whatever it is kids do when their parents get old. Life changes so quickly at times and yet seems to stand still at others.


Still eating lots of vegetables and Boca burgers. Having some success and feeling better about myself. It’s a good thing.


Gotta run and finish my self-portrait assignment for Photography class. Not my idea of a fun assignment. I am too self critical for things like this!!!!

No comments: