Tuesday, July 15, 2008

A woman's allowed to change her mind

My parent's teak buffet - I LOVE IT

When my mom was first diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer back in 1998, I completely overreacted.  I believed that her diagnosis meant she would die within the year and I started freaking out.  One of the first things I fretted over was what I was going to do with all of her furniture and china (she had three full sets plus various specialty items).  Of course none of these thoughts included the fact that my dad was still alive and might want to stay in his home indefinitely.  She survived for eight years before the disease took her and my dad is still in the house I grew up in ten years later.   

Recently, he has been talking about one of his girlfriends a little more positively than the others.  He seems to really have a connection with her and the more I learn about the relationship, the more I think it is a good idea.  This woman lives in his golf community down in Florida during the winter, but lives in Indiana during the summer.  He is going to visit her there for a second time later this summer and can't stop talking about how much he likes where she lives in Indianapolis.  My intuition tells me that he'll be summering there next year.  I'm okay with that.  I think it would be great if he had someone to keep an eye on him, and someone who makes him so happy.

So - back to the furniture.  My brother and I were looking around the house and started "picking" things that we want when the house sells possibly sooner than later.  My brother asked me what I wanted and I was very particular.  "I want the Barcelona chairs and the orange side table that goes with them.  That's it."  Of course I then added to my list the dining room buffet, Dad's desk and a chrome lamp.  He was a bit surprised.  "What about the dresser downstairs?  That's yours."  "I've changed my mind.  I only want contemporary or retro stuff now.  No more antiques."  He was stunned.  I have ALWAYS wanted the heirlooms, the really old stuff.  He kept challenging me on it, and I would have questioned myself also had I not read Quantum Wellness during my cleanse.  I realized that the old and meaningful pieces that I have held onto, and used to be attracted to, were holding me back.  I can appreciate my past, and my heritage, without sitting on it!  

I love clean lines and simple style.  I want to live in a home that is uncluttered and calm.   We can't afford to replace the things I would like to get rid of, but I will continue to try to simplify.  
Thinking positively, this waiting period (until we win the lottery) will help me plan the perfect design for all of my rooms.


Dave said...

The buffet is awesome; we've been looking for something similar because all our furniture is teak scandanavian contemporary and most stores around here have old people furniture. We were in Sweden in 2000 and were fairly close to having one shipped over but it would have taken $1000 in shipping and customs alone.

Anonymous said...

Both my parents were gone by the time I was 23, and I made myself completely responsible for keeping all the furnishings of the house. Some, I obviously needed--tables have their use and I like a bed. Most of it, I dragged around (okay, my dear friends HELPED me drag around) and stored for years. YEARS.

It took a long time, to let go of the stuff. Slowly but surely I did. There is still some that I use, because money doesn't grow on trees.

At the point that I got rid of my mother's living room furniture, I really felt lighter.

It took 15 years, but, then no one should deal with closing an estate when they are only 23.

I do like the buffet, too

Anonymous said...

When I was a teenager, my mother had something that I hoped to receive if she ever passed away. I didn't know how to ask for it with grace, so I said, "Can I have this when you don't want it anymore?" :) To this day, I still make an inquiry once in a while: "I'd love to have this, when you don't want it anymore." My mom laughs. It's now kind of an inside joke between us.

Anonymous said...

i don't blame you - that buffet is wondeful!

Anonymous said...

I love the buffet. So clean looking.

Anonymous said...

Looks a 100% better than the fake wood stuff sold at IKEA!

Sarah Yost said...

That really is a fantastic piece. My grandparents had a large collection of bulldog figurines and I kept one after they died. One reminds me of them just as well as keeping the entire collection would have and it's much, much easier to keep one bulldog in my living room than 150.

Starshine said...

I like clean lines and simple style, too! Good for you!

My father just passed away, and I am saving all of the letters I wrote him that he saved and gave back to me before he passed. I was thinking the other day that if I ever do decide to get rid of the letters that I sent him years ago, it won't change my connection to him at all. That was refreshing.