Found on the ground at a neighborhood park

Throughout my career I have “happened upon” a large number of notes written by one adolescent to another. My nine years at the middle/junior high produced, by far, the most entertaining notes. Often, however, the swearing or vulgarity just got to the stupid level and stripped away most of their entertainment factor.

I found this a couple of weeks ago and laughed out loud. I truly think it is in my top five as one of the best notes I’ve ever read: (words in italics are mine)

“Reasons why Parker is a RETARD! (double underlined)

1. says I wear too much make-up :( (the actual frown face also had a “v” mark above the eyes for extra effect)

2. his laugh is gay

3. breaks up through an e-mail. HOW RUDE + MEAN!!!

4. breaks up w/ me before I break up w/ him. (can you believe the audacity!)

5. immature around his friends (wouldn’t you love to know the depth of the conversations she and Parker had when he wasn’t with his friends??)

6. too much in common w/ Mike.

7. talks too much about kissing.

8. fools around (I’m guessing she’s not referring to him as a class clown)

9. BOSSY!

10. Never calls back…

11. tells family everything. Underlined five times

12. nosy. underlined twice followed by another frown face with a furrowed brow

13. talks about Catlin BIG frown face

14. is a shithead.”

Well, that just about sums it all up.