Monday, December 12, 2005

The beginning of the end - Part 2

I don't know where to begin.

My mother has deteriorated dramatically. She is very jaundiced, her eyelids are dark, she slips in and out of sleep, she throws up bile every few hours and she had her first "restless" episode. That's medical-ease for delusional talk. Around 11:30 PM last night she asked me to tell the person she was on the phone with that she couldn't talk anymore. She wasn't on the phone.

Hospice is now in place. A hospital bed is in our living room. A commode was delivered. At 3:00 PM today, Don came - our first nurse for round-the-clock care. The social worker helped us talk through funeral plans. The case worker told us she will probably die this week. Needless to say, I won't be going home at 5:36 tonight. My husband and kids will come on Saturday. My mom's sister is coming from Florida tomorrow night.

She is very uncomfortable. My brother is numb. My dad is angry (feels it should be him). And I'm just sad. Really, really sad.

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