Life

When I woke up yesterday, I was really tired. The kind of tired that made me question what day of the week it was - I ascertained that it must have been Friday, but NO it was Tuesday. Getting up in the dark is getting old. I usually wake up about 5 AM. Not to exercise - just to have time to shower and get to work on time.

I'm feeling better this morning even though I was at work last night until 8:30 PM. That's almost a 14 hour day. Surprisingly I feel better this morning. I am empowered!

For three days this week, I am coordinating a team of self-defense experts to teach all the female students in our school skills that will save their life. I've had to sit in on a couple of the three-hour workshops in case someone becomes uncomfortable due to flashbacks/memories/etc. So far it's gone extremely smoothly. We've educated about 300 girls so far and the buzz around the school is great. The girls have loved it.

Last night we offered a workshop to the community - geared towards our students' moms, mainly. One of the instructors approached me and asked me if I wanted to participate this time. I reluctantly agreed. I knew it would be "good" for me to have experienced something that I was asking others to do. The reason I was hesitant is because the class is very hands-on.

At the end of the workshop, one of the teachers dons a military protective suit and helmet (with a face cage) so that we can all take turns attacking him. Actually, he attacks us and we practice what we learn.

It was one of the best things I've done. I was the last "victim" and he did not take it easy on me. He came at me for only ten seconds, but it seemed much longer. All the other participants cheer and clap to encourage you, but all I could think about was getting him off of me. It was great!

I got home too late to kiss the kids good night. Due to my schedule, I have not seen my kids awake since Monday night. All I want to do is grab both of them and squeeze them tight - then I'll teach them the skills appropriate for their age level and risk. I sometimes think if I teach them - then they'll become fearful, but I doubt it. Life is risky. They need to know, as I now do, that they can protect themselves.