It snowed today

Rest

I went to Florida last week. Alone. To visit my dad. Alone. In case you didn't pick up on that - I DIDN'T TAKE MY FAMILY. Any of them.

My dad lives a pretty peaceful existence down there. Lots of reading, lollygagging and golf. He doesn't need too much more than that. When I got home and called to say "Happy Easter" and "I made it home just fine" - he thanked me for motivating him and getting him out of the house. I'm not sure what we did. I do remember one trip to Costco. And a visit with Jonna. (My dad loves her more than me. "She's so perky and vivacious!")

It was back to reality today, though. My kids are on Spring Break this week (mine was last week.) I went to work, they went to camp. A few days before I left for my trip, I was notified that my position (yes, the new one that I just took which has immeasurably improved our lives) was eliminated due to budget cuts. This must make some kind of record. I have held the job for exactly five months. I will stay through the school year, but don't know if I'll be able to slip into any other opening in the district. I spent the day trying to figure out who else may be interested in the available position. It was really fun.

The kids missed me, but Chris did an incredible job single parenting for a WHOLE WEEK. He didn't complain at all. I complain if he comes home after 6 PM. They both started soccer last week and are still in gymnastics. I vowed never to get this involved. Especially in sports - it's too...athletic.

Ella celebrated her birthday while I was gone. I called and sang to her. Harry had a musical performance at school - he was an echidna. I bought the fabric - Chris made the costume. He used shoelaces, from his boots.

Maybe I should go back to full time - I really think they'll all be fine.

Career paths and other stuff

I’m not really sure how people enter certain occupations. For example, some chick on NPR this morning devoted her entire doctoral research to studying the communication patterns between insects. This, of course, led her right into the communication patterns of elephants. You’d be amazed at the similarities between the two!

Another time I thought about this was a few weeks ago as I walked into my yearly OB/GYN appointment with a new doctor – a man. What went through his head when he made this career choice? Didn’t he realize how this choice would ruin the way he approached sex forever?

I tried a woman last year. One of my mother’s dying requests was that I immediately schedule a mammogram. I assured her I already regularly got them (due to high risk) but that I would get another one right away. I threw in a physical exam to boot. The female doctor I chose (due to her office location alone) was disappointing. She was fast, nonspecific and generally uninterested. I sat in her office, a grief-stricken wreck, begging her to give me ever cancer screener on the market. She basically told me that I was fine and to stop worrying. No blood work, no in-depth questioning about my lifestyle, no fancy tests. I left feeling unheard.

So the pressure was on with this new doctor. I wanted to go to our teaching University this time and they scheduled me with a male doctor. I went in open minded not wanting to believe that he couldn’t be extremely effective even if he didn’t possess his own set of ovaries.

He was pretty good at first. He took my concerns seriously and followed up with tests. One of which was an ultrasound.

As I laid on the table, my belly full of goo, the technician pushed down hard on my extremely full bladder.

“Ok – there is your bladder,” she began, “wow – it’s really full.”

“It’s supposed to be,” I responded. “They told me to drink 32 ounces an hour ago. I do what I’m told.”

“You’re not from around here, are you?” she asked.

“Why do you ask? Because I’m a rule follower?” I defensively answered.

“No,” she laughed, “it’s just that you have what we call…a…well…a…beer bladder.”

I absolutely lost it – I laughed so hard. Then I asked a bunch of questions.

“Is it all stretched out? Is it too big? What?”

“No,” she calmed me down, “it’s just that I’ve had people complain pretty loudly with half the amount that’s in your bladder. You can REALLY hold a LOT.”

Why thank you.

The test results are inconclusive. I even had a biopsy, but thankfully it came back negative. I told my dad what was going on and he became pretty upset. His parents, and his wife, have died from cancer. I probably shouldn’t have unduly upset him. It’s just that I’m so used to telling my mom every detail of everything – I still try to do some of that with him.
The doctor failed in the end. I’m in complete limbo. He didn’t offer to search any farther for the cause of my symptoms, and he forgot to follow through on some other things. I feel like I’m back to square one. I hate the thought of being gender biased, but maybe I should go see a woman.

Birthday "swumming"

Ella is picking up the Utah accent faster than I can blink. It's driving me crazy. If she insists on having an accent, then I want it to be from the Midwest - I want her to say kaaahn-kreet (that stuff that sidewalks are made of) with strong confidence. I do NOT want her saying "Brigh-in" instead of "Brighton" or "moun-in" for "mountain." I especially hate "swum" instead of "swim." We've worked on it over and over. She cannot correct these misspeaks!

Today was Ella's birthday party at a local indoor pool. She is turning five on April 3rd. I will not be here. That makes two more things that will not make me mother-of-the-year. First, was forgetting the candles for her cake today. Second, will be flying to Florida to spend time with my dad over her birthday. I have Spring Break that week, and the kids don't, so I found a flight that keeps me there over her birthday. In my frugal madness to find the best deal, I didn't even notice the dates.

She is so laid back, and concerned about others, that she's already assured me that it will be okay. She's really excited that she'll be receiving a long distance call from me.

Birthday parties are so much work. The tension this morning got pretty thick. We almost didn't get everything done because I insisted on having a party game. "Pin the wings on Tinkerbell." Chris is a great sketcher. He can draw anything. Tinkerbell, however, turned out to be a challenge. She came out looking...well, a bit evil. Chris even noticed, after we had her hanging on the wall, and said, "Why do I always do that?"

Ella invited a bunch of kids from her preschool class. They had so much fun - they just love each other. I guess that's what it's all about.

Waiting

Cheap manual labor

Swinging and Sledding all in the same afternoon

Harrison just runs from the camera, so you'll have to "endure" more pictures of my Ella

I've totally decided that I could handle staying at home - ALL THE TIME. Chris, however, reminded me that if this happened I would probably spend too much money. He's right. With access to crowd-free weekday shopping, there's no telling what I could do. I don't like, though, staying home for not-so-wonderful reasons.

Last week I was off from school, and this week I went in on Monday but then Tuesday and Wednesday I stayed home with a sick girl. Chris stayed this morning and took her to the doctor. After a lovely procedure involving the longest Q-tip up her nose EVER, she has been diagnosed with (drumroll, please) the flu.

It started Saturday morning. Ella woke up. Asked for breakfast. Gulped it down and then projectile vomited into the kitchen sink. She seemed perfectly fine afterwards. No whining or tears. Just requests for more food. We thought it might have been a mild something that was gone. We tentatively packed her things for ski lessons and threw a bucket in the van as a last-minute precaution.

Thinking I was mom-of-the-year, I packed the kids' lunches for the ride to the resort (about 40 minutes) so that they would be fully nourished for their afternoon. Ella ate just fine, but started complaining about her neck. She ALWAYS complains about her neck in the car. We stopped worrying about this complaint about two years ago. We have no idea what the problem is, but she hasn't died or fallen over so it must not be too terrible. Anyway, the neck complaint was followed by stomach complaints. We were still in denial because the traffic up the canyon was terrible. We were focused on getting to the lessons on time. About five miles from the top, the traffic became gruesome. Cars were parked all along the side of the road and there were people walking with ski equipment everywhere. Apparently, large amounts of fresh snow, warm temps and sunshine attract everybody and their brother to the top of picturesque mountains to utilize fabulous ski resorts. For some reason we were surprised.

In stop and go traffic, she threw up lunch. It was a wonderful scene. I think my favorite part was the "YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!" spewing out of Harry. No sympathy, just disgust. We delivered him to his lesson and then drove back down. She seemed much better - we even ran to the furniture store to purchase a couch we'd been contemplating - but it keeps coming back. Not the stomach stuff. Now it's a runny nose, fever, sore throat and INTENSE, NON-STOP coughing. Tomorrow we'll be home again. I pray it's almost over - this is getting painful to watch. Nothing worse than helplessly watching your child in discomfort.

Like Grandfather, like granddaughter

When I was little, my dad painted every surface of our house. It took him years. When he was working on the woodwork, especially, he would stick out his tongue and contort his mouth in a really weird way. If I brought attention to this, he would overexaggerate and it would always make me and my brother laugh.

I forgot about this until I had Ella. As she is learning to write words, or while she is manipulating Playdoh, she does the same thing.

Down five

So, here we go again. I’m back on Weight Watchers. What is this? My fifth or sixth time? I don’t know anymore. I am not going to meetings or paying to get weighed. I don’t need to – I know the system so well, and already own all their “tools”, so why bother? I would love to know why I keep losing and gaining the same 10-15 lbs. over and over again, but frankly – I’m sick of thinking about it.

I have a couple of different incentives this time. First, I have become extremely embarrassed about how I look in a bathing suit. This is an issue because there is a pretty cool indoor pool in our neighborhood. Ella had an invite to a birthday party there a few weeks ago and I donned a suit as she isn’t extremely comfortable swimming alone. It was excruciatingly awful – exposing myself in front of all the other preschool moms and dads. Both kids had a blast and expressed interest in returning as soon as possible. All I could think about was how I was going to distract this thought from their heads. I’m not sure this is a great parenting technique. Also, I am heading to Florida in late March. More bathing suit wearing. Yuck.

I’ve got another incentive – I want to win a contest. I’m not normally a competitive person. Being competitive means that one excels at something. I usually am more in the “moderately competent” area of things rather than excelling. However, after all the dieting I’ve done over the years, I have found my greatest skill. I can lose weight. For a while. Which is why this contest is perfect for me – it’s only six weeks long. It’s cleverly called “The Biggest Loser”. It’s being held at my new school. I figured I could use a boost and reluctantly joined. I didn’t have a team, so I was put on one. I am now on a team (The Desperate Housewives) with three other non-teachers and THE PRINCIPAL. This changed everything. I now feel a stronger expectation to take the contest seriously.

All of a sudden, I’ve started eating in the teacher’s lounge so that I can appear as more of a team player. I am exchanging dieting tips with anyone and everyone. It’s actually a bit scary – I’m really knowledgeable. People are seeking me out to find out the name of my 1 point bread and my brand of ice cream sandwich (Skinny Cow, by the way.) I guess this is one way to finally get to know my co-workers a bit better.

I’ve been somewhat reclusive since I started this new job. I stuck to my work, stayed in my office and only ventured out when I needed something. Now, however, I am starting to (gasp) make some new friends. I’m not going to go crazy, or anything. No scrap booking parties or happy hours, but I do exchange weekend stories with a few people once in awhile now. This diet thing, though, is my ticket. It really has everyone talking.
By the way – I’m tied for first place.

Clean Air

We're experiencing an inversion in Salt Lake. It's a fancy word for bad-ass smog. Thick smog. Can't see the mountains through it smog. It's even taking on a color - I call it taupe. Yesterday we drove up to Park City to breathe. The health officials advise against outdoor exercise right now. They even say that we should cover our mouths and noses when we go out. (And I chose to move here for the beautiful nature and scenery?) So we drove above the smog into the mountains and went to our favorite park. We avoided the movie stars and enjoyed the suburban lifestyle where people have houses with more than one bathroom.

It was blissful.

As you can see, we've been busy.

I would like to blame my slowdown in posting on my harried schedule, but truthfully I've just been uninterested. Or more honestly, I think my "audience" is uninterested. I have a lot going on. We are busy and fulfilled, but I can't seem to get these things down on paper in a creative way. Because of this, I hold back from posting. It's really a vicious cycle because I vowed I would never get like this. Worried about my "public". Who am I kidding? I have no public. I have a few faithful readers who I've "known" since forever, but other than that - I'm just one of the millions of mommy blogs out there with no specific niche. Why do I care? I never used to. I started this as a place to keep a journal of my kids' lives. I used this forum because I was surrounded by bloggers and they made it sound fun and interesting. Hell, one of my friends makes money doing this. Me, however, I struggle to make my bed daily (recall my latest post about being lazy) let alone write tons of creative, funny posts that would attract advertisers and readers.

Enough complaining...just thought I would explain my thinking of late.

Actually we have been busy. Working part time has afforded my sanity the peace it needed to become a more balanced mom. I have now entered the extracurricular circuit. We have explored many free trial first-time classes and seem to be narrowing in on some choices. Ella has chosen gymnastics (although Harry seems equally interested) and Harrison has started karate. I'm happy with the gymnastics venue and classes, but not so much with the karate. We are attending a class in a room off the gym in the neighborhood middle school. I like the "pay as you go" set-up due to Harrison's fickleness, but dislike almost everything else about it. Too much talking in language WAY over his head, and not enough direct instruction. What do I expect for $6? I also enrolled him in a great art class that is downtown in a really funky art studio. Unfortunately, I think I love it more than he does. He can't stay focused if they are doing an activity that he doesn't love - which means pretty much anything beyond building LEGOS or drawing ships. We'll stick with it. It is much more than $6.

Chris and I are having fun planning things that we want to do in the future. I planned a trip to see my dad in April. Never could find any reasonable prices for tickets to Florida, so we decided it would be best for me to go alone. My wonderful husband will single-parent for almost a week during this time.

We have our summer almost completely mapped out. On the horizon is a trip to Minnesota, and a trip for the two of us to Napa (HELP!! we are clueless on this one). This will be the first overnight away from the kids since Ella was 15 months old.

Also, we are also planning a major remodel of our house. We need more bathrooms and more space in general. We don't really have the monetary resources to do a major re-haul, but we can dream! We measured all the walls in the house and Chris is putting all the measurements into his computer on a program that can map it all out. It's so fun to take down walls, add walls, and just generally re-work the whole place. I love the entire process. I may not love it as much when reality hits and we realize that we can't do everything we'd like to.

That's about it. Nothing extremely exciting, but actually very fun for us. It's kind of like when you played "house" as a kid and everyone got along.

Type L

I’m not sure why, but I just don’t have the desire to do a lot besides what’s required. I’m hoping it’s because I give so much to my kids. Or that it’s because I have yet to find my “passion” – the one thing I want to do so much that it won’t feel like work. It transgresses into my journaling.

It’s not that I don’t have material – hell, my kids give me tons to write about, as well as my job (and the clientele I work with), my marriage (and all the planning we are doing for 2007) and of course my dad (and his dating life) – it’s just the lack of energy I feel about pretty much everything. The following little story kind of sums it up.

Two weeks ago I went to the gym to workout for the first time after our vacation at Christmas. I hadn’t worked out at all in about ten days, had eaten more than one should and felt unusually bloated. I got on the same elliptical machine I always use, but there was a guy on the one next to me. I usually go at 6:00 AM, when the place opens, so that I can work out before work, and enjoy the quietness of the place. He had headphones on, so I didn’t worry about making pleasantries, but he took them off and said “hi.” We chatted about his upcoming triathlon within about 30 seconds and that transitioned into his world travels and multiple graduate degrees. About 15 minutes after we started talking, I looked down to see that my heart rate was through the roof. I had subconsciously started “racing” this guy and my lack of fitness couldn’t keep up.

As we segued into talking about his mid life crisis – and I tried to throw in some of my counseling techniques – I asked him if he was a Type A personality. “Of course, I am,” he laughed. I responded, “Well, I’m not at all. I would be more of a Type L – for “lazy”.

I’m perfectly comfortable with this part of myself. Honestly. I wouldn’t want to be Type A. I like the idea of it, but know that it is a hard badge to wear. However, I’m not sure this Type L thing is all it’s cracked up to be. I think I may more realistically be something in the middle. I ebb and flow – energy wise. I just think this drag on my energy has lasted a little too long. The last time I think I felt more normal was about December 12, 2005. I’m due for an upswing. Hopefully all the plans we have for 2007 will come to fruition – I think they will help.

Photo Friday - Theme: Sister

I'm so glad that Harrison has you in his life.

I need a travel agent

We just got home, yet I’m already planning a trip to Florida in February to spend a week with my dad. I can’t find a plane ticket for under $435. Anyone know any tricks?

I think it's official - he's a teenager.