The Second Half

She's "famous"

2009-03-27T09:05:00.002-07:00

I submitted a picture to I Heart Faces for their "Fix-It Friday" series. I was surprised to see my beautiful Ella up on their site today! It is so fun to see how so many people edited the shot. Some of the criticism (of my photography skill) was a bit hard, but I need to take it constructively and learn. Right?!!

how can so much go wrong in one day?

2009-02-23T22:10:00.001-07:00

I'm having one of those days which involves no liquor, but desperately NEEDS liquor. And it's only Monday. Pray for a short week.

I feel like I'm having an affair!

2009-02-18T12:03:00.003-07:00

I have been neglecting this site due to some extra energy trying to put together a photography portfolio. During this process, I have started another blog www.blacksalt.wordpress.com

Slowly, but surely, I'm getting closer to my goals.

Other news - started a another job at an elementary school nearby. It only involves an hour a day, but they would also like me to sub. That might just be perfect. Until I make millions selling my "art" - I'll have to supplement! I am no longer going to be able to take the kids to school. This is a big change for all of us. Chris is being great and has taken over, but it's a tough job moving my two slowpokes out the door each morning. I'm so lucky to have his support during this "exploratory" phase of my life.

This putting myself first stuff is hard!

long weekend

2009-02-14T22:31:00.003-07:00

The kids had two half days to end their week, and then they are off on Monday and Tuesday. Luckily we've had playdates and birthday parties to fill in the gaps between playing make believe with their Webkinz and rockin' out to Guitar Hero (why did I think this was a good game for them???)

I will be getting out of the house a bit more. I just got a second/third? job as a morning assistant/monitor to all the students who arrive at this private school before the school day begins. I'll just be out for an hour and 10 minutes, but it will bring in a couple of bucks. Also, they were so thrilled to interview someone with an educational background that they had me fill out the substitute teacher application. I could really get busy.

As much as the large amounts of time indoors gets on all of our nerves, I just have to look at a photo like this one to remember how precious this time is.

Ellastyle

2009-02-13T19:36:00.004-07:00

Ella got her haircut again. She tries to grow it out, but it gets so messy and unruly that we always agree that the pain and anguish she claims to experience while combing it isn't worth it. I took her to my stylist this time and it was worth it. Ella got her head massaged and everything!

Here's a shot "in progress" and I have yet to take a good picture of her new do.

I have started a new blog just for my photos. www.blacksalt.wordpress.com

This business is all about baby steps.

I heart faces - adult

2009-02-03T11:13:00.003-07:00

My neighbors actually asked me to take their holiday family photo this year. I think they just wanted someone to push the button! :) This is a shot of one of the girls alone. Isn't her skin amazing? For more pictures of adults - click on the button below.

I Heart Faces - Pets

2009-02-02T16:05:00.008-07:00

My second attempt

My attempt at funkiness (is that a word?) If you want to see more normal pet pics, click on the button at the top.

Passion

2009-02-02T14:37:00.005-07:00

As long as I can remember, it's been common knowledge that money isn't that important in a career - loving what you do is. Baloney. I think they both are important, but it doesn't always work out that you can get both. I used to have a job that paid the bills and gave us great health insurance, but it became emotionally burdensome. Now that I'm working on something that I really love - starting my photography career - however, we are not getting my income and are paying more for less insurance. I fight back the urge to feel guilty daily. I know that if I was still working as a school counselor we wouldn't have as many financial worries, but I really can't remember being this excited about anything in a long time.

I gave myself a daily schedule starting January 5th, the day the kids went back to school, and it involves learning as much about photography and Photoshop as I can. (It also includes time to walk the dog, of course!) So I now scour websites, follow tutorials, read books, take classes and have started acquiring some of the bare necessities needed to take and edit better photos.

One of the things I'm pushing myself to do is enter photography contests. Today, I'm entering my first one. It's sponsored by a blog called "I Love Faces" and is very low key which is the way I like it! So here goes....the picture above is my entry into this week's contest that has the theme "The Eyes Have It - Kids". If you want to see more of the entries - click on the button below.

this and that in pictures

2009-01-08T21:49:00.004-07:00

A resolution, of sorts, that I made this 2009 was to spend more time on photography and learning how to "enhance" the photos I take through Photoshop. Easier said than done. After looking at all the pictures below, I see that I still need to work on my color balance and hues. Anyway...here are a few shots from the last week or so.

This is my nephew, CJ. He is 19 months old and one of the most well-behaved toddlers I've ever met. Of course I think he's extra special because we share the same birthday.

Harry was pretty attached to the new Wii Santa splurged on for Christmas. He sat in this particular spot, on the couch, for most of Winter Break. There were a couple days that the only reason he got out of his pajamas was to go down to his friend's house to ask advice on how to get to the next level in "Lego Star Wars." I felt a little like a bad parent, for letting him play so much, but I knew it was just the newness of it. Once school started, I was sure the "need" to play would wane - and it has.

This little girl also fought getting out of her pajamas for most of break. This independence is great - it means she'll be a strong woman - but for now it just really gets in the way. Ella was always my compliant one. The rule-follower. Now she has her own opinions and (gasp) actually makes her own decisions ALL the time. It's completely scaring the hell out of me. (Oh - and check out the pajamas. Backwards AND inside out. They won't wear them any other way. This is one battle I really don't feel like fighting.)

Of course a picture montage wouldn't be complete without Basie. Her limitless energy is a constant issue for me. I am always looking for ways to exhaust her. Two doors down, there is an adorable Goldendoodle (half golden retriever/half poodle). He looks the exact opposite of Basie. He is thick, curly-haired and tall. I'm not sure what attracts them to each other, but these two dogs are in love. They play on my tiny front yard as often as they can. Here is a shot from today's session. They both look pretty ferocious, but look below...

...who wouldn't love this dog!

View down my street

2009-01-03T15:50:00.001-07:00

It snowed last night and took away all the gray, brown icky snow.

Go Vikes!

2009-01-03T10:49:00.003-07:00

We moved her from the midwest when she was two, but it's engrained. She is a Minnesota Viking's fan. (NFC Wildcard game tomorrow - Vikings vs. the Eagles)

I lied

2009-01-01T21:47:00.003-07:00

Not only did I stay up till midnight, I didn't lay my head on the pillow until a little after 1 AM. A time of day/night I haven't seen since forever. Two families joined us, and all the kids got along, which allowed for much eating, talking and drinking by the adults. This champagne glass was given to us, as part of a set, for our wedding almost ten years ago. I don't think it's been used since.

I walked the dog at about 12:40 AM and didn't really think about the fact that I was outside, after midnight, walking alone until I was a few blocks away. As for protection, Basie was a total wuss. There were lots of fireworks going off and she cowered and literally turned around - telling me that she was not going to have any part of the festivities. I met some neighbors on the walk. I will venture a guess that this couple was WAY more entertaining last night due to many scotches.

We need to remember, for next New Year's Eve, not to let Ella stay up. She has been a complete puddle all day - whining, snotty and completely out of sorts. Hoping she sleeps till noon tomorrow.

Happy 2009! Cross your fingers that it is full of happiness.

2008

2008-12-31T11:46:00.004-07:00

These trees were given to me by my mom. In fact, all of the classy Christmas decorations I own were given to me by my mom.

I will remember this year as "The Year of Many Firsts".

The first year that I started to feel better about losing my mom. I don't mean that I forgot her, or that I don't grieve for her still, but I don't have the deep sadness I used to.

The first year that I have ever owned a dog. Ever. She is a lot of work, and fills the house with black hair, but I wouldn't trade her for anything. She has brought so much to our family. She has been one of the best decisions we've made - and we don't make positive choices too often!

The first year I haven't worked full time since I was 22. My part time job from home has become pretty part time, about 8 - 10 hours a month, so I was able to start my photography business. Have I made any sales? Taken any photos for money? Have a website? No, but that doesn't mean I haven't started something! 2009 will be the first year I make money from it!!

The first year I've regularly volunteered in the kid's classroom's. I'm teaching art. Poor kids.

The first year that I peed in our SECOND BATHROOM! The toilet is in. We don't have a vanity, sink, shower, door, woodwork or tile, but the toilet works. That's all that really matters in this household.

We're having a quiet evening at home tonight with neighbors. We won't make it till midnight, but it doesn't bother me at all. This is also the first year I've been able to catch up on my sleep - why would I stop now?

I always thought I looked younger than my little brother until I saw this photo.

2008-12-27T21:59:00.004-07:00

Basie needs to be walked about four times a day. Somehow, this "family" pet has become my main responsibility as I do most of the walks. I don't really mind the midday walks - it's the crack of dawn walks that bug me. My favorite time to walk her is at night, though. We've had a ton of snow lately and there is that bright, crisp coldness outside at night.

Tonight I recruited Harrison to come with me. He is so full of energy now that school is out. Ella is having a friend over for a sleepover and that just jacks him up even more, so I pulled him out into the darkness with the enticement of my camera. I told him that he could take as many photos as he wanted. He loved it. This one of me, above, completely caught me off guard when I was downloading the images. I don't even remember him aiming at me.

Just when I thought I was getting better at Photoshop, I can't figure out how to "airbrush" all my smile wrinkles away! This embarrassing moment is meant to kick me in the ass to brush up on my skills.

Snow day

2008-12-22T22:44:00.003-07:00

I have been in a terrible mood for a few days now - it really doesn't mix with the whole Christmas spirit thing. I wouldn't care, but I have kids - little kids who CANNOT wait till December 25th. Today was the first day of their holiday break. They'll be home for two whole weeks which means that I will not be on holiday break. I took the kids, and some friends, sledding. I wasn't really looking forward to it, but knew it would be much appreciated.

I was right. Basie ran like crazy for two whole hours. I think she went up and down the hill about 50 times at full speed. The kids separated into two camps - the avid sledders and the fort builders. It was so fun to watch them laughing. I actually forgot about all the stuff that's been bugging me lately. It was like I was on an island - an emotional winter wonderland!

I don't have photos because a large storm was expected and I didn't want my camera to get wet, but I wish I had risked it. Ella tried snowboarding on her friend's board. She did great. The mom of this friend started the snowboarding lessons program up at a resort in Park City three years ago. She is a great teacher - she had Ella going down the hill immediately. She fell. Everyone who snowboards falls, but she got back up and kept on going.

I'm so glad that my kids get to grow up here. The opportunities for experiencing wonderful things are endless. All it needs are more lakes. Without salt.

Pickup

2008-12-16T20:00:00.003-07:00

When we first moved to Utah, four years ago, we would make it a point to explore a new canyon or resort, each weekend that first summer. Sundance Resort quickly became our favorite spot. We love going up there and just hiking around. Several times that I've been up there, there has been this incredibly cool red truck in the parking lot. It's even been featured in the catalog. It might not be the same truck, but I like to think it is.

A new neighbor moved in about two years ago. We haven't really gotten to know her. She has a huge, friendly dog and an active lifestyle - lots of comings and goings. Every once in awhile there is this great red pickup parked in front of her house that closely resembles the Sundance truck. It's been there about six or seven times, and I've always wanted to take a picture of it.

Last week I forgot to worry about what she might think of me standing in front of her house with a camera, and shot away. This is one of the images I took.

Everything all at once

2008-12-15T22:10:00.004-07:00

The kids have started piano lessons this fall. They had their first recital last week. Harry played "Up on the Housetop" and Ella charmed us with "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas".

When my mom was alive, I would talk with her at least once a week and fill her in on every detail of our life. She was intensely interested in the silliest things, like the paint color I chose for the nursery or the idiosyncrasies of one of my co-workers. My dad is a bit different. He usually dominates the conversation with details of his social life (he is down to one girlfriend) and the latest scores he received playing golf. After about 30 minutes, he'll finally ask, "So, how are things with you?" By this time, I am tired of being on the phone and usually just give him a cursory overview. Since he doesn't want to hear it all, I'll just write it down.

There is so much going on right now. It's overwhelming and exciting, but hard work and exasperating all at the same time. Christmas is taking somewhat of a back seat. We've got so many construction projects going on that it doesn't allow for cookie-baking and/or craft projects. The downstairs office and bath we are adding is fifty percent done. The bathroom is painted, but doesn't have any fixtures. The office has become our bedroom. We moved down here last week and I just use the adjoining "bathroom" as a dressing room/Christmas present hiding spot. Our old bedroom has become Ella's. I've been painting for a week. She picked the colors - three pink walls, one brown. Polka dots as accents. Purple and brown on the pink walls - purple and pink on the brown wall. It is done and looks great. It is definitely a girl's room. Harrison is staying in the kid's old room and we'll repaint over the school break. He doesn't know what he wants. I'm just trying to keep him from painting everything navy, gray and black - like Star Wars.

I haven't been getting too many hours at my little assistant job. I was supposed to get about 8 - 10 a week, but it's become about 8 - 10 a month. This has, however, offered me the opportunity to get more serious about trying to become a professional photographer. It's one of the "overwhelming" parts of what has been going on, but also the most exciting. I haven't felt this positive about anything in a long time.

Basie has become more and more an integral part of things. She is such a people dog. Has to be near us all the time and has the greatest expressions. After all the illnesses, and a bit of poor behavior, at the beginning - we are all thrilled that she is with us. We don't have a fenced yard so I walk her about 3 - 4 times a day. I have started meeting all the dog people in the neighborhood. I also have a new appreciation for my neighborhood. I love looking at all the architecture.

We always seem to get ourselves into too much, but it usually works in the end. Mom would be fretting for us so much - I guess it's better she doesn't know.

Last Saturday was three years.

Ella America

2008-11-27T11:19:00.003-07:00

Yes we can

2008-11-04T23:17:00.003-07:00

I wore my "I Voted" sticker all day and felt very proud about it. I watched the results come in on "mute" during dinner and then "out loud" while the kids were getting ready for bed. Chris made a fire, and our first snow fell outside the window, as the announcement was made. I feel so much more this election. I feel hopeful. McCain's speech was so gracious and Obama's was so inspirational.

My dad and I argued yesterday about our respective choices for president. His opinions were so deeply rooted that nothing I said mattered. His voice rose - mine couldn't as I was wandering around Costco, but I also was truly trying to stay calm so that I could intelligently give him my differing views. Chris asked me why I bothered. I have to. I can't just ignore what's going on in our country. My dad has seen so much - he's a Depression baby, but I'm not - and I have kids and grandkids to worry about.

I don't think I'll call him for a few days. I can't wait for the kids to wake up so I can tell them. For the first time, in a very long time, I feel hopeful. It's somewhat of a cliche', but I really feel it. "The times, they are a changin'"

Unexpected

2008-11-01T20:25:00.005-07:00

Working on the house, and day-to-day kid activities have consumed us for the last few weeks. It took free tickets to get us on a family outing today. We were able to watch the Real Salt Lake (our professional soccer team) play in their first playoff game. It is only the third game to be played in this new stadium, also.

We were spoiled and hung out in the coolest suite full of really great catered food. We had a great view and enjoyed the fast-paced, exciting game. Some of the fans were crazy. Banging drums. Setting off fireworks in the stands and even smoke bombs. We just sat in our seats and screamed a lot.

The kids both finished their soccer seasons this morning, so it was a big soccer day. Besides the joy of being together in a fun environment - I think the best part was that the whole event went smoothly and easily. Half the time we won't go places because we don't want to deal with the parking, etc., but this was all easy.

Even if you don't know anything about soccer - I highly recommend going to at least one professional game.

A boy and his dog

2008-10-26T21:29:00.001-07:00

Getting rid of stuff

2008-10-20T10:51:00.002-07:00

The kids have been off from school since Wednesday at 12:45. It's Monday and they're STILL home. We've made do by planning many play dates and I decided to fight boredom and throw a garage sale.

I had pulled together most of the items I wanted to clean out of my garage weeks ago, but there has been a never-ending sidewalk repair project going on that didn't allow for much parking availability. Also we've had a few rainy weekends, so when I saw the gorgeous weather projected for this past weekend, I decided the time had come. Luckily I had a friend to help me, otherwise I would have exploded from the stress combustion inside of me.

I'm not good at playing it cool. I fret. A lot. Where should we put the signs? How should we keep the money divided between the families? Do we need tables? I don't have any tables! What about a change box? Do we need to get singles? How much should I price things for? Luckily, my friend, Janet, is great in situations like this. She kept telling me it would all work out and we just needed to remember that we just wanted to get rid of stuff - making money would be the icing.

Of course it went great. We had old men walking up the driveway a half hour early, but I didn't really care. Nothing was ready, but they still managed to buy some of my junk. I learned a few things: for instance, my friends want me to continue to be a hoarder! Every time I turned around, they were telling me not to sell this or that. My wonderful old neighbor from across the street even went so far as to bag up all the linens my grandmother had hand embroidered and put them back into my house. She has a great thick German accent, just like all my Tantes and my Oma, and she's hard to say no to. I also learned that people come to buy things to re-sell. I'm not dumb. I mean, I know that ebay exists, but I guess it was pretty weird to see it in action. There were two gentlemen who came for books. One guy was on the phone with someone for about 45 minutes reading numbers from the back of the books to another person. He then picked out some books and grinned REALLY big. Afterwards we decided that he was probably going to re-sell them all on Amazon and make big bucks because I sold them to him for 50 cents. Another guy had an actual machine that he held up to the books. I think it scanned those numbers on the back and then he could tell what they were worth. The best people to sell to were the kids. They would just find a toy they loved and carry it around begging until their parents relented and handed over the quarter.

It felt so good to see the floor of my garage. Nothing went back into it - we filled the van (without seats) three times with all the stuff we donated. I have a long way to go, but I am bound and determined to de-clutter if it's the last thing I do. In that same vein, I have found a great book. It is all about the connection between the state of our homes and the way we feel. The book is apartment therapy: the eight-step home cure. The author has an eight week plan to "fix" my housing woes. I just have to wonder if he can send over a few carpenters and tile setters while he's at it. The basement project continues, however the backyard deck and fireplace will have to wait till spring. My desire to leave education has left us without my income. I have been looking for something to do from home for months and finally found a great part-time position working for a PR firm. I'll work from home, have minimal hours so we have enough extra cash for groceries, and I can still be more involved in the kids' lives. It's so nice to get some good news.

If the job doesn't work, I think I could make a living helping people with their garage sales. It only takes one time to figure out all the mistakes and how you can make it better!

The D-O-G

2008-10-12T20:17:00.004-07:00

So. I'm a dog owner. How the hell did that happen? I have never had a dog. Never. Growing up we had gerbils. They reproduced like crazy which was really good because they died all the time. My parents wouldn't let us keep them upstairs and I think they all froze to death in our Minnesota basement. My brother and I begged for dogs or cats, but we were turned down cold. I didn't really know many dogs, so I had no idea what they were really like.

When I got out on my own, I got a cat. Then I got another one. One was named "Dave" whom I rescued from a small cage at a pet shop next to a Thai place in Wausau, WI. I can remember everything from that evening. He looked so sad, but as soon as he came home he was pretty much a wild man. I can't remember exactly all of his antics, however I remember I could never have fresh flowers. He would knock them over.

Fast forward a few years, and I met Chris. We dated long distance for a year, but would visit every other weekend. When he came to see me, his eyes would water and his head would get all stuffed up. It was the hardest thing to give up those two cats, but when we decided to live together it was necessary. As the kids have grown, they have always asked about getting a dog or a cat. We would throw out the "your father is allergic" excuse and it usually stopped the conversation for a few weeks. It wasn't hard for me to say "no". I am really not a dog person. I don't stop on the sidewalk and pet other people's dogs. I don't ask about people's dogs. I don't even like it when they come up and sniff me. Everyone knows this about me, but one of my friends must have known that inside my dog-disliking soul was really a dog-loving soul SCREAMING to come out. She knew that all she had to do was wait about four years and I would melt and cave. All she would have to do is call from the Humane Society and say, "You HAVE to come and see this dog. She is so wonderful. I would adopt her in a second if my husband would let me have a third dog." And all of a sudden, this switch went off and as I drove to the Humane Society, all my kids in tow, I knew that I would be coming home with this dog.

My friend joined us so that she could show her to us. The dog was let out of her cage and we walked into a dog run. She started leaping around. Literally. Leaping like a gazelle. It was so obvious that she was thrilled to be out of her pen. She came up to each one of us, at different times, to greet us. She was affectionate and adorable. I called Chris and told him about her. He said that we should get her because it was obvious that we already had fallen for her. His allergies were never brought up.

Basie has been with us for a few weeks now. I feel as if I've joined an exclusive club - dog ownership. It's the same feeling I got after Harrison was born. I no longer resented crying babies in restaurants - I just felt bad for their parents. Now that I have a dog, I no longer cringe when I hear the dog behind us barking late into the evening. I worry for him/her instead.

The learning curve is steep and I've been thrown in feet first. She has been sick twice already each with their own medicines. First she had an upper respiratory infection. Through this experience I learned not to freak out every time she sneezed mucus all over my living room. Her nose was actually running. I WIPED A DOG'S NOSE! Then her nose dried out and I put Vaseline on it. I also learned how to give her pills pretty much from the first day we got her. I can whip my fingers behind her canines and open her mouth in a second flat. I throw the pill down her throat, rub her throat gently and keep her mouth shut until her tongue comes out and I know she's swallowed. Can you believe I know this? Non-dog-owners could give a shit, I know, but I just had to share. After she finished her first antibiotic, I had to go back to the vet for two booster shots. They casually recommended that I drop off a stool sample. "Here" the tech said, "Just put it in this tiny CLEAR bottle with this stick and then bring it back within two hours of collecting it. Do you need a glove?" I just stared. The pills were one thing, but this was a bit much.

Sure enough the test came back positive for giardia. Something about the cell count on the slide being so high they couldn't count them all. More pills, and some powder for her food. At least she's eating now. She didn't eat the first two weeks, so nothing worked to entice her to take her pills.

She may also have asthma. She has this reverse sneezing wheezing thing she does quite a bit. It usually happens when she's been exercising a lot, or sniffing a lot. Yes, Basie probably has allergies.

So we've come full circle. Chris is indeed allergic to Basie, but he hasn't said that out loud. He is really stuffed up, and has been using his inhaler more, but we keep attributing it to the remodeling he's doing in the basement. And the dog is possibly allergic to us. The love we all have for each other, though, makes all of that go away. This dog is the most loving, fun animal I've ever known.

I think it all comes down to this...Basie makes our family happier. She's been a ton of work. She's not fully potty trained, so I've been walking miles a day with her, but I can't help but accept that adding her to our home is one of the smartest decisions we've made.

Just a little tidbit I don't want to forget

2008-10-06T21:51:00.003-07:00

The kids are at such a fun age. They actually have great senses of humor and can understand (and sometimes even appreciate) my sarcasm. Today after school, we went shoe shopping. Ella has outgrown everything except her sandals and suddenly the weather has turned blustery and cold. She was having a hard time picking out which shoes she liked the most. It was starting to drive me nuts and then Harry somehow got involved. Here's a quick recap of the conversation that followed:

Me: You two are doorknobs. (my favorite expression for everyone. Clever? no. Creative? yes. Non-sensical? absolutely.)

Harry: If we were "doorknobs" we wouldn't know anything.

Ella: yeah!...like that 5+5=10. The only things "doorknobs" know is how to turn.

We all cracked up. It was so fun to see them realizing that they could be funny.

Mud pies

2008-10-06T21:29:00.002-07:00

The weather had been unusually warm for early fall in Utah. Highs in the 80s through last week. During one of these warm afternoons last week, Harrison got bored and then got creative. He put on his swimsuit and grabbed the hose. Our in-progress-front-landscaping seemed a little dry to him. He asked Ella to help him water it.

I am much more comfortable with the stuffed variety.

2008-09-29T19:26:00.006-07:00

The kids have discovered Webkinz. It's the current version of Beanie Babies with a twist - they're more expensive and they have some secret internet persona. Ella has two and Harrison has one - a leopard named "Cheeto" because he originally thought he was a cheetah. If they had their druthers, they would each have at least ten. Both of my kids love stuffed animals. Harry more than Ella because she splits her loyalties with dolls - or "babies" as she calls them. Harrison, though, is all stuffed animals. He has 21 so far (thanks to grandma and her care packages) and lines them up diligently around his bed. He literally sleeps surrounded by stuffed animals. Since he sleeps in the upper bunk, he can even line them up along the protective rail. It's pretty cute until we have to travel. We usually only allow one or two animals to come along and he frets the first night or two. I know it's a bit unusual, but I love it. It means he's still my little boy. Too soon he'll be rejecting me, and his animals, for some adolescent babe in a too tight tank top.

One day I was eavesdropping on Ella and her playdate (it's hard not to with the size of our house), and Ella mentioned that Harry's "Cheeto" had fallen in the toilet a few weeks back. After Harrison had ... gone ... and before he flushed. I think that's descriptive enough. The friend asked Ella how Cheeto got out of the toilet and Ella described a scene that included Cheeto being thrown out the back door to dry on the driveway. Again, the story was told in the past tense. Harrison let the leopard dry in the sun and then slept with him for weeks. I was so amazed at what I was hearing that I didn't know what to do. So, I did the only think I could think of....

Figuring out what to do with this animal was difficult. I didn't quite know how to clean it without wrecking it. Somewhere I read, or heard, that all sorts of things could be washed in the dishwasher, so I tried it, and it worked. Cheeto is fine...still soft and not a scent of urine on him.

After getting through that trauma, I felt empowered. I never had pets as a kid (gerbils do NOT count) and then tried cats in my twenties. I liked cats, but never had a large attachment to them. They left hairballs around and knocked over flower vases and Christmas trees. Owning a dog was never a consideration. They need to be walked and taken care of. My cats could be left for days with water, food and a litter box. Not dogs. They need attention, love and backyards.

When we moved to Utah four years ago, I was a bit dismayed to see the immense number of dogs on our street. I think every house has at least one. My kids were scared to death of all of them. Ella was only two and she was more freaked by them than Harry. We have tried, over the years, to force them to acclimate to dogs. Everyone has them here. If they are afraid as they get older, it will only get harder.

We have good friends who have two dogs. Since we spend a lot of time with them, the fear in Ella has almost completely subsided. It is so great to see her petting even strange dogs she'll run into up at school, or in the park. About a month ago, I mentioned to this friend with the dogs, that having a dog of our own might be really great for the kids. She held in her enthusiasm and then secretly started scouring all the pounds and humane societies in a 50 mile radius to find us a dog so irresistible, that I would have to succumb and adopt it.

Well, she succeeded. Meet Basie. I have now been a dog owner for 10 days. I have absolutely NO idea what I'm doing, but she is so sweet - it doesn't really matter.

Hanging out at Sundance

2008-09-17T19:05:00.005-07:00

We drove down through Provo Canyon and the approach was amazing. The colors are just starting to turn.

My two cherubs. Ella ready and willing to be photographed. Harrison, on the other hand, will do whatever it takes to get me so frustrated that I'll put away my camera.

The many faces of Ella Annamarie. She has quickly blossomed into a first grade "adolescent". The attitude, whining and backtalk is so junior high.

There is a pond at Sundance that we always climb around on the rocks. This year they have stocked it with fish. They're really pretty.

Mt. Timpanogas, and the surrounding peaks, are so breathtaking. Every time we go there I always wonder why it took us so long to get there.

Not dead, just lazy

2008-09-16T20:25:00.002-07:00

You know when you have so much to do, and limited time to do it in, that you always manage to get it done, and more. I have the opposite problem. I'm still unemployed which allows for some free time during the day. I usually have something to clean - or an errand to run - but I fail to accomplish much of the lists I generate the night before. I have all sorts of great ideas at night.

I'll apply to create a LLC to start my photography business. I need to clean out the upstairs of the garage so that I have more stuff for the garage sale I'm having. I need to plan for the garage sale. I need to study Photoshop more. Take classes - study it on my own. I should wash the windows. I should clean the floors more often. I want to learn to cook better meals. I should bake cookies from scratch. I want to read more, but don't have any idea what to read. I should work out more. I should more aggressively look for a job.

That's about all I can think of right now. Now I need to find ambition. (Maybe I'll run into some at Target.)

I just thought these flowers were pretty

2008-08-28T07:53:00.002-07:00

I took this picture up in Park City where it isn't as hot as down here in the desert valley. The flowers seem brighter this time of year. Probably because they haven't been fried in 95 degree plus weather for the last 6 weeks. I love warm weather, but can't say I don't look forward to autumn.

My dad came last night to visit for a week. The kids started school on Tuesday and this is a big change for all of us. So, of course, Chris decided that he needed to take a business trip. Isn't that the way it goes?

Who woulda thought I'd get so excited about a garage?

2008-08-25T12:32:00.004-07:00

We decided that we the only way to continue on the basement project, and still have a bit of space down there, was to organize the garage and then put all the stuff in the basement into the garage (toys, games, etc.). This will be temporary until we get a wall unit with shelves and drawers. So at about 10:00 AM yesterday we started emptying the garage. This is what it looked like around 1:00 PM.

But check out the view when you turn around.

Fortunately, we live in the desert and it isn't supposed to rain for a week or more. Why does that matter? Because most of the stuff is still in the driveway. I have gone through a ton of stuff and we have a huge pile of stuff for a garage sale. It will feel good to actually know where things are.

Now we have to tackle the attic of the garage. It's full, too. (see the stairs in the back?) We want to empty it so that it can be a play room/music room. Maybe even a photography studio some day?????

The basement - getting closer!!!

2008-08-20T20:48:00.007-07:00

Here are some photos of the progress:

This is a shot of the shower. The doors are just hanging out until the closet is created and the door to the office is moved. (I just thought of something...we don't have a door for the bathroom?!!) As you can see, it's going to be awesome - super large and will have borderless, glass doors.

This is a shot of the office/bedroom. The weird "storage" wall to the right is actually a shelf. It's a part of the foundation. The drywall on the bottom half is just covering the foundation which I believe is made of a stone, dirt, cement mixture. Chris decided to add framing, and eventually doors, so that we could use it for storage. I thought it would be really cool to put a twin mattress up there for one of the kids - like a secret hideout. I measured - there's room.

This is a picture of the other side of the office/bedroom. To the near left is going to be a small closet. Right past the closet is a hallway to the bathroom. Right now that is the only access, but we have plans to move some things around (after we win the lottery) and then it will be accessible from the family room.

This is the hallway to the bathroom. The wall protruding out to the right is the back of the shower. The sink/vanity will go right where the ShopVac is sitting. There was an old tool bench in the backyard that I found behind some bushes. I pulled it into the garage and have started refinishing it. I have already purchased a white vessel sink to put on top of it. I think it will be really cool to have something like that in a new space - a piece of the house's history.

We are back in the thick of our remodeling projects. Concentration is on the basement - adding an additional bedroom/office and a SECOND BATHROOM! Chris is handling the bulk of the work, although we have hired a fairly cheap high-schooler who is often willing to help. The level of Chris' expertise is pretty astounding. I feel grateful that we don't have to hire a contractor, but I feel badly that all the responsibility is on his shoulders. We were trying to get the bathroom done for some visitors last week and next, but it's not going to happen. I need help with the tile choices. I am thinking a palette of black, charcoal gray, beige, light gray and white. Neutral yet a little unique. The mosaic accent I'm looking at (for the back wall of the shower) is here. (Unfortunately, the site won't let me direct link to the product. If you have time to look - it's under "Glass Mosaic - Platinum. The one I like looks most like "Celadon Swirl" although it doesn't appear to be green in the photo or in real life.) The bulk of the tile, floors and other two walls of shower, would be this. (Again, no direct link - this one is called "Urbanite". The walls would be the "carbon" color in 12 x 12s and the floors would be "carbon" in the 8 x 24). I think, to save money, we'll put a short "baseboard" of tile around the room and then paint the walls a light gray that matches the mosaic tile.

As far as the office/bedroom, I have no idea for colors. Obvious choice would be the same gray, but one of the kids may move into it someday and I don't think I'll want to paint again.

Have better ideas? Let me know.

Happy Birthday, Christopher

2008-08-17T16:09:00.002-07:00

We've been together for almost eleven years. This weekend I was reminded that I don't know him as well as I should. On Friday, I offered him the choice of two things for a birthday gift: a 24 hour rental of a Harley-Davidson (the one I really hoped he'd pick!) or a university extension writing course (he secretly wants to have his own blog and make millions so that he can stay home while I go to work). He thought over his options for about a millisecond and said, "Didn't you know that my motorcycle license expired?" Then on Saturday, after returning from the grocery store thinking I had picked up all the necessary basics, I was quickly corrected. I think his exact words were, "How can you have known me for so long and continue to forget to buy the things that I like?!!" Defensively, I raised my voice (not too much) and responded that I am always thinking of him. That he is my universe - of course I give him what he needs. I just had no idea he would get so worked up over orange juice. You would think I forgot the gin!

I am glad that these are the types of "conflicts" we're encountering at this stage of the game. After nine years of marriage, I am as secure as ever in the decision I made to marry Chris. As the two of us hit the big "44" this year, I'm realizing that things change with age. There are weird things that happen to your body, and different challenges as the children age as well.

I am so lucky that I have such an amazing man that's willing to watch me get even older - or is it that he's lucky I'm willing to watch?

We just call him "Almanzo"

2008-08-14T08:34:00.005-07:00

Harrison is learning how to be a pioneer this week.

Hiking at Solitude

2008-08-11T20:42:00.008-07:00

We took the kids up Big Cottonwood Canyon to get out of the heat on Sunday. The hike started off pretty easy. All I had to worry about was one of the kids falling off the boardwalk into the swamp, but at least that fate is better than falling off the edge of a cliff.

On the drive up the canyon (yes, this picture is out of order) I just stuck my camera out the window a few times. Every view was better than the last.

Heres the girl. Why is she holding her arm up like that? She's showing me her Statue of Liberty pose. Oh. Of course.

The climb was one mile, but 700 vertical feet. For some reason I wore Tevas instead of hiking shoes. I really didn't think we'd get off the boardwalk. When I thought I couldn't go over another rock, I looked to my left and this is what I saw.

When I looked down, though, THIS is what I saw. Is that a black widow? It sure looked cool.

We missed the height of wild flower season. There were still some flowers blooming as the elevation increased, though. These flowers were so sheer that I could see through the petals.

Here's the boy in his Brett Favre jersey. He announced yesterday that he is no longer a Packer's fan. Now the NY Jets are his team. This photo was taken about 45 seconds before he fell in the water up to his chest. This lake was our reward for making it to the top of the trail. A storm was blowing in and the wind was whipping. The temperature dropped about 25 degrees and Harrison was freezing the entire mile down the mountain because he was soaking wet.

Found this old sign. We loved that some handy man probably put it up with whatever screws he had in his tool belt. No two are alike.

We made it to the bottom without getting rained on, without breaking any bones, and without any whining. I love that the kids are getting acclimated to this kind of outing.

Best part? It's free entertainment.

One little step for the cleanse, one giant step for the frig

2008-08-08T21:07:00.005-07:00

The clutter around here seems worse, than in other homes, possibly due to the fact that our house is pretty small. We have a finished basement, but tend to spend all of our time upstairs in two rooms - the kitchen and the living room.

One day I was annoyed by the amount of crap on the refrigerator. I'm all for saving the kids artwork, but it was getting out of hand. I wanted to throw it all out, but I also wanted the kids to feel like we revered their craft and art projects. My mom never let us put stuff on the frig, so I tried to come up with a compromise. What I discovered was magnetic paint.

I decided to paint a wall at the end of the kitchen with this paint and transfer some of the artwork, etc over to that wall.

Here's what I used: painter's tape, "Nail Hole Patch" for the nail holes in the wall, a foam roller so that the paint rolls on super smooth, a paint brush for the edges, a paint tray (which I covered in foil to avoid a bigger mess), and a can of magnetic paint. This stuff is crazy. That little can weighs about 5 pounds - okay maybe three, but whatever it is - it is really heavy. Oh - and the paint stirrer is really necessary. The paint doesn't present in a typical manner. It is really watery on top, when you first open the can, and then it is really thick on the bottom. It took me about 5-7 minutes to thoroughly mix the paint.

Here is the wall I chose. This picture as taken after I taped and patched the holes. I ended up extending the tape to the ceiling so that the line was straight and crisp.

This is a picture of the wall after it was painted. The can suggests you put three thin layers on to make it more magnetic. I was glad that the space I covered was relatively small. On the left of the picture you can see some of the mess that was on my frig.

And here is the final "after" shot. The magnetism isn't as strong as the frig, but I still like it so much better. I found that lighter magnets worked much better - and heavier objects can't be hung at all.

I like it. It's different, that's for sure.

Still cleansing

2008-08-06T18:14:00.003-07:00

We have a garage that families from blocks around covet. It is a oversized two-car with stairs in the back that lead to an attic/studio room. The room has subfloor, drywall, ceiling fans and lights. I have had dreams of it becoming my photography studio since I laid my eyes on it, but alas it has become a storage unit. As we finish the unfinished parts of our basement, we are slowly squeezing out all the inside storage space that we have. Of course the attic isn't large enough to store everything, so we put the rest in the large two-car bay area.

Now it's full, and we park our cars in the driveway. All year round. In an effort to get at least one car in the garage, and to get rid of stuff in the name of cleansing, I found this steamer trunk. I picked it up from a neighbor's garage sale back in Green Bay before we moved. I probably paid $10 for it and was sure it was going to be a beautiful addition to our 1895 Victorian. I couldn't really find a great place for it in that house, so I dragged it across the country to this house. Half the size and not Victorian. Not sure what I was thinking.

So here I am. Ready to sell it on Craigslist. Prices on ebay go anywhere from $100 to $850 (when they are restored). What do you think I could get for it?

2008-08-05T21:14:00.002-07:00

Harrison fell off a swing tonight at the park because he was standing on it being reckless. My big boy, who doesn't want to be called "baby" anymore, came running to me and wrapped his little arms all the way around my waist, shaking with tears streaming down his face. I instinctively knew how to comfort him and within a minute or two he was running back to play with his sister.

When a person is hurting emotionally, I can't hug away the pain. Watching a person you love, in pain, has got to be one of the hardest things to experience. I can offer my ear, my shoulder, or a bottle of his favorite beer, but none of these can fix what is broken.

Not having control over life, and it's events, can be awful. However, I also know that things usually happen the way they are supposed to. I will try to hang onto that thought.

It's been so hot!

2008-08-02T09:10:00.002-07:00

Our house is all brick and heats up like an oven. We are learning, finally, how to get the most out of our air conditioning. We have an elaborate process that involves fans, opening windows until a certain time of day while leaving the air on, opening windows without the a/c on, and closing blinds and shutters. Our house is pretty dark in the front rooms as it is. Dark paint and northern exposure. When we close the shutters I find it almost claustrophobic. However, I will do what I have to do to stay relatively cool.

Last week we decided to dance. Each of us picked a CD to play and then we partied.

Unemployment sucks

2008-07-29T15:18:00.003-07:00

Harrison's birthday party last Saturday (only two months late) at a rock climbing gym

I have had some time to focus on myself the last two days while the kids have been in day camps. I've spent the time looking for work. What an arduous, awful job. One thing that's different, since the last time I did this, is the "open" job postings. They list a great job - something that I feel I'd be really good at - and then when I make an inquiry call, I'm told the same thing. The company or college doesn't have an opening at this time, but they like to collect resumes for the future. Just in case. It kind of reminds me of a false ad - you go into the store to get the item that is advertised on sale, but find out that they don't have that model.

I still want to explore working from the house. Possibly try to sell photos or something. Ella suggested that we decorate foam frames (like these) and fill them with "pretty pictures." I'm sure we could make a couple bucks (selling to family and friends), but I doubt it would pay the mortgage. I have high hopes for starting anew, but I think I need to explore the "work from home" ideas I have in the evening, AFTER a consistent-paying day job.

That leads to the whole idea of giving up. I feel if I get a "regular" full time job, I won't seriously work at pushing myself to start my own business. Why does it have to be that way? I think it's because I don't feel comfortable changing the entire lifestyle for the rest of my family just so that I can fulfill a dream.

It's that female guilt thing.

Help wanted

2008-07-24T19:18:00.006-07:00

I just mentioned to a friend the other day that I believe I attract chaos. Like a magnet. However, I don't feel overly anxious about any one thing more than the other. I think that I have always attracted chaos and this is just the way life is meant to be lived for me.

One thing I do contemplate often, though, is how to stop this madness. I wonder, though, if I really have more than anyone else, or if I just notice it more than others. I heard this morning that the minimum wage went up making a person's yearly salary, at this wage, $13 thousand and some change. That is about two thousand below the poverty level. When I compare my life to a single mother making minimum wage, I know I have nothing to complain about. But I write for myself, so I'll complain.

My nesting cleanse is not going so well. I was cleaning like a mad woman for awhile, but then it all came to a screeching halt while I was in Minnesota and San Francisco. I now have the old feelings of laziness. I don't want to clean or organized. I think it's similar to getting to the gym for others. The desire comes and goes in waves. I'm in low tide - I hate the disorganized state of the house, but can't figure out how to get my beached ass off the sand.

Face it. I've been living in a dream world since I left my job in May. I've had free days and fun nights for quite some time now. This "not working" gig is pretty great, but reality has hit. I need a job. A great job that will allow me to work from home. I want to be home for the kids and our family. Two full-time working parents were no good for our children. Neither Chris nor me are any good at switching gears at the end of the day so that we can be a great parent and cook. We are more likely to come home, grab a beer and chips, and then open the door to the pantry and stare. Soon it's 7 PM and we're throwing hotdogs in the microwave again. All beef, but still hotdogs. I want to do more with all the opportunities I've been exposed to on the internet. With my writing or my photography. That will involve taking risks. Not monetarily necessarily, but self-esteem wise. I need to stop beating myself up and find the confidence in my creativity somewhere in myself. It's now or never.

A colleague and friend I worked with last year, Nicole, lent me a great book on this very topic. One of the quotes that made a lasting impact on me came from the first chapter, "We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic." This can be interpreted in many ways, but I tied it directly to my outlook on a future as a photographer. My self talk in general is pretty awful, but when you ask me about my ability to succeed as a professional photographer - watch out. The language becomes pretty foul. I would never talk as poorly about anyone else (except G.W.) as I do myself.

Beyond my disgruntlement over my cleaning prowess, and my worry about my future career, I have other concerns. Like the state of my yard and basement. Remember the projects we started last year? They're not done. Not even close. This goes back to the money discussion. We've never had enough to do everything we want, but our priority has been travel this year. Unfortunately, I never realized when perusing the Expedia site, how frustrated I would be 15 months later after we started our projects, staring at their unfinished state. I want my kids to have a back yard. I want a guest room and an extra bath. We NEED a second bathroom.

It's hard to complain about this out loud, at home, because my husband is the "contractor" for all of these projects. He's an extremely competent construction project manager by day, but can't seem to bring his amazing organizational strategies from his professional life into his home life. Again, I can't complain. Who wants to do all evening, and weekend, what they've been doing all week, but at some point I'm going to have a nervous breakdown about all of this. (Consider this a warning, Christopher) I hate thinking about what the neighbors must think. I don't like it that my kids know how to crawl up to the electrical panel to flip the breakers that turn on the basement lights. I know it will all get done someday - I just want that day to come sooner rather than later.

This leads me to my kids. Staying home all day with them has been trying this summer. Vacationing with them was also hard because I was often single parenting. Harrison and Ella have become so much easier, in so many ways, but the squabbling. I cannot stand the squabbling, and then the subsequent tattling. I wish I was set up like a tape player. Whenever they are upset with each other, and want me to settle a dispute, I could direct them to push the "Play" button. This would be the recording: "You need to figure this out between the two of you." Then I would hit the "Rewind" button so that the recording was all queued up for the next battle.

For the first time, in a very long time, I am completely in the dark about my future. I have no idea what to expect. I thought that I had a job opportunity that would solve all my problems, but it fell through for now. I was devastated, but weirdly calm about it. Maybe it's because the first two people I told were calm. Chris said to me that it "...was just another bump in the road." Nicole told me that she believed that it wasn't meant to be. That something better suited for me was in my future.

I can live with these thoughts for a while longer, but soon I will need to know how to pay the mortgage. For now, I'm going to forget all of this and go watch "Alvin and the Chipmunks" with my kids. This will be their fourth time watching it this week.

We believe in getting the most out of our rental movie dollar.

staying up late playing with photoshop

2008-07-23T22:25:00.003-07:00

A sign in Chinatown, San Francisco

I feel like my life is permanently set to Fast Forward

2008-07-22T22:28:00.003-07:00

A pretty door in Chinatown

The kids and Chris came to pick me up from the airport last night. It was if I had gone from zero to 90 in about 3 seconds. Both kids were talking over each other to tell me things. Most of the conversation revolved around a movie they had watched twice since I'd been gone, "Alvin and the Chipmunks". While they were talking over each other and AT me - Chris and I were trying to talk about our respective weekends. It was impossible.

As we arrived home, all I could think about was eating a bit of dinner and then crawling into bed. No - that was not on the agenda. What did I do instead? I watched "Alvin and the Chipmunks" while I ate popcorn.

The trip was amazing, but I'm thrilled to be home. I have so much to think about and work on. Going to conferences always do that to me. They completely energize me. I am trying to think of a way to work from home so that I can be here for the kids more. I've got some ideas, but nothing that will probably help me make enough to cover the mortgage.

How much do they pay if you donate your plasma?

I'm off to BlogHer!

2008-07-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

I will say "hi" to you, if you say "hi" to me!

A woman's allowed to change her mind

2008-07-15T07:16:00.003-07:00

My parent's teak buffet - I LOVE IT

When my mom was first diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer back in 1998, I completely overreacted. I believed that her diagnosis meant she would die within the year and I started freaking out. One of the first things I fretted over was what I was going to do with all of her furniture and china (she had three full sets plus various specialty items). Of course none of these thoughts included the fact that my dad was still alive and might want to stay in his home indefinitely. She survived for eight years before the disease took her and my dad is still in the house I grew up in ten years later.

Recently, he has been talking about one of his girlfriends a little more positively than the others. He seems to really have a connection with her and the more I learn about the relationship, the more I think it is a good idea. This woman lives in his golf community down in Florida during the winter, but lives in Indiana during the summer. He is going to visit her there for a second time later this summer and can't stop talking about how much he likes where she lives in Indianapolis. My intuition tells me that he'll be summering there next year. I'm okay with that. I think it would be great if he had someone to keep an eye on him, and someone who makes him so happy.

So - back to the furniture. My brother and I were looking around the house and started "picking" things that we want when the house sells possibly sooner than later. My brother asked me what I wanted and I was very particular. "I want the Barcelona chairs and the orange side table that goes with them. That's it." Of course I then added to my list the dining room buffet, Dad's desk and a chrome lamp. He was a bit surprised. "What about the dresser downstairs? That's yours." "I've changed my mind. I only want contemporary or retro stuff now. No more antiques." He was stunned. I have ALWAYS wanted the heirlooms, the really old stuff. He kept challenging me on it, and I would have questioned myself also had I not read Quantum Wellness during my cleanse. I realized that the old and meaningful pieces that I have held onto, and used to be attracted to, were holding me back. I can appreciate my past, and my heritage, without sitting on it!

I love clean lines and simple style. I want to live in a home that is uncluttered and calm. We can't afford to replace the things I would like to get rid of, but I will continue to try to simplify.

Thinking positively, this waiting period (until we win the lottery) will help me plan the perfect design for all of my rooms.

What else is there to do in the park...

2008-07-14T17:57:00.002-07:00

...besides dancing an Irish jig on top of a hippo.

Girlfriends, and more girlfriends

2008-07-03T09:33:00.006-07:00

The first thing my dad said to me, when he picked us up at the airport and I gave him a hug, was "wow, you're a lot bigger than P." P is his "hottie"(his word, not mine) in Indiana. He just got back from visiting her for a week a few days ago. I felt the vomit creep into my mouth. I ran around the car and got in the other side just to get away from him!

Since we have been here (less than 24 hours), my dad has talked about P non-stop. I am currently at a coffee shop so that I can high speed internet. He asked me to research airline tickets to Indiana. He drove on his last trip and is lucky to be alive as he dozed off somewhere in Wisconsin and sideswiped the guard rail. He's 79 and we have all agreed that he will never travel that far again in a car. Feeling jealous, I asked him when he was flying to Salt Lake. He decided to combine it with a trip to P. I guess I can handle equal status.

It has been pretty difficult to listen to all this talk about another woman, but I am slowly adjusting. I have to keep things in perspective. If she makes him happy, then that's great.

To top things off, my brother came by with his girlfriend, B, last night. They make a cute couple. I was internally critical, but am working on being less judgmental in general. The cleanse and all.

As we start our time here, we have so much to look forward to. Spending time with the cousins, doing a lot of swimming and shopping, and just plain relaxing. Tomorrow is my brother's birthday and we are going to the park where I watched fireworks as a kid.

Life seems like one big circle.

Things are never dull

2008-07-01T17:05:00.005-07:00

Grandma and Grandpa brought two of these large remote control cars for the kids. Harry took his all around the block!

My in-laws from Green Bay have been visiting for the past two weeks which means we've been eating lots of lots of food cooked on a grill, and the kids have had at least 100 ice cream cones.

Things are heating up between B's mother and my husband regarding B's behavior and future living arrangements. I won't divulge, but it is sad and tumultuous. One of those topics that is brought up multiple times a day and is never pleasant.

I'm still cleaning and cleansing. The basement play room is clean - this was a large accomplishment. And just as I had the upstairs living areas looking kind of decent, Harrison decided that he wanted to rearrange the furniture. Far be it for me to stop that kind of creativity...that's what I get for pushing any program on HGTV.

Tomorrow we head to Minneapolis. All the suitcases are out, but only one of them has a few items in it. I know what I want to bring, but I never seem to be able to pack ahead of time. My dad called last night to get details about our flight arrival and told me about his trip to Indiana last week. He went to visit Girlfriend number 3. A week in Indianapolis at her house. Yuck. Not for him, for me. He went on and on about what a fantastic week he had. He really enjoys this woman. I'm happy for him. Really. But COME ON!!! I'm his daughter - how much of this gushy stuff can I handle? I think it's especially hard because he didn't gush about my mom. They both admitted to me right before her death that they didn't have the greatest marriage. It was a really bad time.

Thinking positively, I still look younger than my baby brother who I'll be visiting and I will get a 13 day reprieve from cleansing my house!

P.S. Went to my trainer today and she told me that she bought Quantum Wellness (on my recommendation) and has been cleansing for NINE days. Is she sick? Of course not. Her husband is doing it with her. Is he sick? Not a chance. Am I jealous? Yes.

We played all day

2008-06-29T08:19:00.005-07:00

All four of us are heading out Wednesday to visit my dad and brother in Minneapolis. I am so looking forward to getting there. I absolutely love the Twin Cities in the summer. We head down to Lake Harriet most mornings to run on the path, or we just skip the exercise and get coffee and pastries in Linden Hills.

I love that we will get to spend time with my family, but I don't know how I'll handle the "new" Glenn. My dad is quite the swinger these days. He's dating about four women. They are spread all over the country. I know it's all innocent, he's mainly looking for companionship, but now some of these women are becoming fixtures. I may even have to meet two of them this visit. That kind of bugs me. I'm sure neither, I will believe, will be good enough. Also, my bachelor brother has recently met a woman and she has already moved in. I'm truly happy for him, but again - meeting her will be weird. I'm not sure why. It might be that I'm not able to accept the change. After mom died, the two of them truly relied on me. I am thankful to relinquish the responsibility, but kind of regret letting it go at the same time.

Due to our trip to Florida, and now this trip and various camps and sports the kids are in, I didn't get a membership to the pool. Harry and Ella really seem to miss swimming, so when my brother-in-law invited us to his in-law's pool for a BBQ, we jumped at the opportunity. I absolutely love taking photos at times like this as I get to really sit back and watch my family have a ball.

Harry's perspective

2008-06-26T21:25:00.002-07:00

This morning Harrison, Ella and I decided to go on a hike before it got hot. Harry was ready first and went out to shoot some baskets. I helped Ella get ready and then headed in to the bathroom to determine which hat would best cover the snarly mess my hair had become after sleeping in the living room AGAIN last night. As I glanced out the window, my heart stopped. There was Harrison wearing my camera around his neck. My large, wonderful camera with my telephoto lens. It was so heavy for him that he was actually leaning forward a bit - his chin thrust a bit. I yelled out the window for him to bring it in immediately, but because he is an ar-teest, he responded that he had one more picture to take.

When I downloaded the pictures from our hike today, I found about 35 pictures that Harry took while I wasn't looking. They are all of our backyard which is completely unusable waiting to have the deck completed and the grass to grow.

Here are three of my favorites:

I love the depth of field on this one - it's a nice shot of our hedge with a subtle reference to the neighbor's gas meter.

This is a shot of a piece of deck framing wood. I think the weeds we just killed with "Round Up" two weeks ago have really turned a nice shade of brown. And whenever I forget that I now live in the desert, I just have to glance at my backyard, which hasn't been watered in 12 months, to remind me.

This is a shot of the deck. I was amazed that he was able to get some shots in focus while he was using a camera that was way too heavy for him, and had a telephoto lens.

I'll just say it, "I quit'

2008-06-24T20:07:00.004-07:00

The kids and I went to a garden up at the University of Utah this afternoon. I took 125 pictures in a little over an hour. It is an incredibly beautiful place. Peaceful, yet still approachable enough that the kids could run crazy.

Yeah, I know. I'm a hypocrite and a loser. Not really, but I thought I'd say that to avoid any "I told you so" comments. Yesterday, at about 4:00 PM, Heather called to tell me that she was leaving the doctor's office and she had big news. Her doctor told her to stop the cleanse IMMEDIATELY as it was definitely the cause of her sinus infection. Apparently, doing the cleanse so thoroughly, and purely, from Day One, we actually shocked the hell out of our bodies and caused our immune systems to fail. We thought that maybe we gave each other the flu, but have learned that each of our illnesses are unique, and not contagious. I have bronchitis. I've had it enough times in my life to know. I've been sleeping upright in a chair for two nights, and probably will again tonight, because the amount of phlegm in my lungs is monumental and when I lay down it becomes hard to breathe, thus causing coughing fits. My family doesn't dig the coughing fits. So, getting back to the topic, I took the doctor's words of advice to Heather to heart. I decided to quit the cleanse at 7 1/2 days in. It felt great and awful at the same time.

As I look back on the last week I have several reflections. I have been physically ill the entire time. My fatigue was so dramatic that I was unable to work out some days, while others I exercised below my potential. A positive thing that came from the cleanse - really positive - is that I have learned so much more about food. One of the basic tenets of Kathy Freston's Quantum Wellness is to reflect on food and it's sources. She wants us to think about where food comes from, what conditions it was grown or raised in, and how it will affect our health. I learned that agave nectar rocks. I'm not a honey fan, but love this stuff. It looks and acts very similar to honey, but doesn't have the glycemic level that honey does. I put it on toast (now that I have chosen to eat it), in oatmeal, tea - whatever. The kids didn't even squawk when I put it on their whole wheat waffles the past two mornings.

After Heather gave me "permission" to quit the cleanse, I felt guilty and thrilled at the same time. I am typically not a quitter in the areas of food. I would have stayed ill, and suffered the cravings, to the end if the other two did it. However, when a doctor tells someone that it might be causing all the health problems I'm suffering, which I didn't suffer prior to the cleanse, I have to give it some serious merit.

After I hung up with Heather yesterday afternoon, I immediately had a Nutter Butter cookie. It was the only sweet in the house. After ingesting, it only took about two minutes - literally - for the headache to start. I began to worry that every new introduction of caffeine, alcohol, gluten, animal products and sugar would cause the same reactions as when I quit them. I'll admit that I had a few stomach aches last night, as I slowly added a few whole wheat crackers and natural ice cream to my diet, however today has been better. I haven't gone hog wild. I think that's the point. I actually loved some of the foods I learned about. I also still have a pantry full of quinoa, rice pasta and sugar-free marinara. I will probably continue to enjoy these items. I have always eaten fruits and vegetables, so this will be easy to maintain.

It's hard to admit that I quit to the world (all 1,000 of you), but I have to be honest. I had a much better workout today than yesterday, and I have to attribute this to a more balanced menu. Will I become a vegetarian or vegan? Probably not. I am definitely more aware of ingredients, and love legumes, so I could probably do it, but I don't think restricting myself to that level is what I want right now.

Chris and I talked after I told him I quit. He refrained from finger-pointing and hysterically laughing, and instead agreed that incorporating vegetarian recipes into our regime would be great. We have been fish and chicken people, but that's only because they're easy to grill. I plan to find a great vegetarian cookbook (any suggestions?) and learn from it. We also plan to cut out as many processed foods, and foods with added sugar, as possible. That one will be tough. Nearly everything has added sugar. It's amazing when you start to examine ingredient labels.

I am grateful that I read the book and tried the cleanse. It showed me that I have the tenacity (a small amount, but better than nothin') to take on something this huge. It also taught me about balance in my life and about revering my home. I continue to de-clutter and clean daily. I don't have the maniacal desire to finish everything this week, but know that my entire perspective on how I want my home to feel, and look, is entirely different because of this cleanse.

I'm heading to bed now as I can hardly keep my eyes open. It could be the multiple nights of broken sleep due to my coughing, or it's the shots of rum I added to my smoothie tonight.

Balance. I have to incorporate it into my life more consistently. Extremes have never been a great idea, but they sure teach lessons.

It fell out in her mac and cheese (she's not on the cleanse, remember?)

2008-06-23T21:42:00.003-07:00

I love it when they smile so sincerely for the camera.

Check out that tooth! When she closed her mouth it would still stick out a bit and she totally looked like a redneck. (Can I say that about my daughter?)

It was a full day for Ella. She slept in till 8:30 - first time since last summer. She had a 6 1/2 hour long play date. She lost her second front tooth and can now stick a straw into her mouth without unclenching her bite. And last but not least - she got a large cut on her foot by getting it caught under the front door.

I, on the other hand, had a bit slower day. My big accomplishment was mailing off my dad's birthday package - his birthday was April 28th. (It's all about getting rid of stuff!) I continued to clean things out, but it's a slow process. I did buy some magnetic paint this weekend so that I could paint a wall in the kitchen for the kid's art. I have decided that to keep the house looking clean, we have to clear the refrigerator and the cabinets of drawings and certificates. This new wall will be the place for birthday invites and school calendars, as well.

I have been battling bronchitis since last Wednesday or Thursday. I had to sleep in a chair last night. Not much better than sleeping on a plane. I can't help but be discouraged that I have had physical ailments every day of this cleanse. That, along with gigantic cravings, has caused me to do some deep reflection.

More about that tomorrow. My chair is waiting.

Day Five

2008-06-20T20:28:00.002-07:00

Took a day off from cleaning and did errands ALL day. The kids were pretty frustrated, but I needed to get rid of this stuff! And I did. I gave old videos and toys to my nephew. We made a trip to the local thrift shop to donate a bunch of stuff I discovered yesterday. We returned books to the library, and stopped at the office store for files and a labeler. A LABELER. (I've gone to the other side. The side of organization and efficiency.) I returned things I borrowed and even bought some ingredients to make a recipe that might involve more than raw vegetables and dressing.

Cleanse-wise it was a bit of a tougher day. I had many periods of craving things. Beer, gum and something sweet in particular. I've got a chest cold. Sore throat and coughing. I also got headache this afternoon, but it was short-lived. Sleep has also been a bit of a problem - I can't fall asleep very easily and wake up often.

The kids are being really patient. I keep telling them that I'm just trying to give my body a break, and become more aware of what I'm eating. Harrison just thinks it's weird. Today he said something like, "Mama just eats vegetables and other garbage." We took them to the park tonight to romp in the stream again at the park. They needed the break!

I may have gone a bit overboard

2008-06-19T15:48:00.005-07:00

I'm still cleaning my bedroom. Feeling much better today with only one incident of cramping and fatigue after playing too much at the park with the kids. Oh, and I'm not hungry. I still have some cravings, but they aren't terrible.

So in Quantum Wellness is a chapter called, "Your Nest - Creating a Magical Environment". In particular, this chapter hit home. Kathy Freston says, "Your physical environment is an extension of your body and mind, and it will reflect what's going on with you - and vice versa." So basically, if you're home doesn't get a lot of light, and you've been feeling depressed, she feels there is a strong connection. At first glance this seems a little flighty, but after I read some more of the examples I was convinced. "You can walk through a door and feel soured by the energy that is all around, or you can walk into a place that seems to sing to your soul."

When I walk in my door I see clutter, piles and usually dirty dishes. Our house is very small, less than half the size of the one we came from, and we probably have too much furniture. Also, the interior styling is traditional. Many of our pieces are handed down from my grandparents. I used to be obsessed with getting as much as I could from my relatives. I have gorgeous crystal lamps, a beautiful side board that holds my ALCOHOL and a cool barrel table with a leather top.

I was raised in an extremely contemporary environment. My parents furnished with Scandinavian design. Teak furniture, clean lines. However, we did move into that house in 1970, so we had chrome ball lights and chandelier, and a bright orange and yellow shag rug on the wall of the sun. I even knew at a young age that the rug was extra cool. Because of this, I always questioned my strong interest in antiques. After thinking about it for awhile, I believe I always loved the sentimentalism of antiques. The stories and history behind them. Especially mine because my pieces are from family. An extended family that I didn't know very well, but loved to hear stories about.

When my mom died, two and a half years ago, my sentimentalism grew. I added old family photos to the living room and took as many things with me that were hers. I have all of her jewelry and many pieces of clothing. Never mind that she was 37 years older than me and 4 inches shorter - I wore her Talbot's blazers with pride, even though my wrists looked way too long. Over the last six months, I have really started to donate a lot of her clothing. Chris told me that many of the things were "old ladyish", but I used to just ignore him. Somehow I finally realized that I didn't need my mom's sweater to remember her. I think that I may be willing to accept that with regards to the furniture, too. Chris and I just sat and talked it through. We can't afford to replace the furniture, so we will do this slowly. I may start frequenting garage sales and thrift stores for great things that can replace what I choose to part with. This won't happen over night, but I do intend big changes in the future.

As I was continuing the project of cleaning under my bed, I cleared out all of the underbed boxes and used a dust mop to eject 40 billion dust bunnies. I kept avoiding a small, white box. Dusting around it, and finally - late this afternoon - I pulled it out. It was the last thing under there. Some of my mother's cremated remains. Gross, I know. We spread her ashes last June when I went back to my dad's in Minnesota. There is a ashes-spreading-garden-remembrance-area at the church I grew up in. They also put up a plaque inside the church so you have a place to go and remember if you like. I couldn't spread any ashes. My dad, brother and husband did, though. The whole idea, when it was right there in front of me, really bothered me. My dad decided to save some of the ashes and split them into baggies (YES, he really did this) and gave me a bag. To save. Under my bed. So when I found the box, with the baggie inside, today I thought about the reason I had it there. I think I have my mother under my bed because my dad gave her to me. Just like the barrel table and the crystal lamps.

I called Heather to ask her what I should do with my mother. She asked me what I thought I wanted to do. I said, "I want to throw her away." Heather kind of freaked and told me that I should spread her ashes somewhere beautiful. I told her about last June and said that I couldn't do it. So, we talked it through and decided that a part of this cleansing process involved getting rid of things that bring us down. My mom - under my bed - bugs the shit out of me. So I told her that I would close the box up tight and put it in the recycling bin (which is drier and cleaner) in case I changed my mind. She hung up in total agreement that this would help rid me of the memories of my mom's terrible death.

So I picked her up and carried her outside to the driveway where the cans are. Harrison was playing basketball with a neighbor kid who looked very strangely at me as I put the box in the can. Inside, I was all - hey buddy, leave me alone. It's just a box!

About 45 minutes later the phone rang. It was Heather frantically asking if I had thrown my mother in the garbage. "Of course I did - you told me to." "Well, I changed my mind. Go get her. I'll go with you and we'll take her to a mountain top and spread her ashes together." I think what really happened is that her husband found out what we were up to and couldn't believe it. He made her call me back.

So, my bedroom is cleaner and my mom is still under my bed. It's a compromise. Just like the furniture for now.

I really miss gum

2008-06-18T20:05:00.002-07:00

About 45 minutes ago (it's 9:08 PM) I started feeling better. I was extremely fatigued today and had a lot of stomach cramping.

I Googled "side effects of a cleanse", and everything similar to that, this afternoon because I was starting to think that I couldn't take it much more. There is a lot of crazy stuff out there. All kinds of cleanses and all kinds of ideas about them. I found on the Mayo Clinic site that they don't think they do any good. I also got a peek into the vegan world and it was interesting to read the positives and negatives. No one seems to have a subtle opinion about this subject.

When Chris found out that I was sick all day again he questioned my sanity. He agrees with many of you that I should have eased into this, but then we had a discussion about drug or alcohol addicts. Cold turkey is always the way they stop. I have a tiny glimpse into how it must feel to be suffering through a hard drug withdrawal. I explained again that this wasn't a diet, but a cleanse - a chance for my body to take a break and rejuvenate. It's also a chance for me to think more thoroughly about my food choices. After shopping for items that fit into this cleanse, I have learned so much. There is so much junk in our food.

For example, Chris ate beans and rice with me tonight, but added a leftover breast of chicken and then had some ice cream for dessert. He read the side of the carton and told me that it was "Sugar Free", but I reminded him that I couldn't have artificial sweeteners or dairy. As he started reading the ingredients, he came upon "sorbitol" and this is what it said as a disclaimer "Sensitive individuals may experience a laxative effect from excess consumption of this ingredient." I think that got him thinking a bit.

I also want to think about cleansing other areas in my life. I'm too tired to get into it tonight, but there is a great chapter in the book Quantum Wellness by Kathy Freston about how to balance your entire life. Eating has always been an issue for me. I'm hoping this cleanse will allow me to find some answers in that area. However, organization and efficiency are also large barriers to success for me. I'm hoping to utilize many of Kathy's ideas to help my life become more balanced and peaceful.

Today I started cleaning under my bed. You have no idea how much crap is under there. It's a start.

I'm definitely cleansed, baby.

2008-06-17T20:31:00.004-07:00

Before: Long hair

After: Short hair - MUCH happier, see?

Will this day ever end? I am still really sick. Feels like the flu. Bad stomach stuff this morning till about 11:30 AM (ie. running to the bathroom several times to excrete my toxins) and then I was left with a sore stomach and a general flu-like feeling. Took more ibuprofen and felt better. Ate very little today.

Ella was on a play date and poor Harrison had to lay around with me. I finally thought I had enough energy to get him to the barber for a summer do. He loved it at first and then, about 10 minutes after, said, "I wish I had my long hair back." It's adorable, but I felt really sad for him.

Spoke with Heather and she got the headache and nauseousness today. In a sick, mean way I was relieved. It means I'm not alone in this healthy misery.

i am so sick

2008-06-17T08:39:00.003-07:00

I'm in bed writing this...feeling like my insides are more than a tad kiddie-wompus. (Is that a word?) I'm also sore, achy and lethargic.

I found this article and hope it is accurate. If these symptoms last more than a day - I don't know how I can do this.

Cross your fingers.

Cleanse Day One - play by play

2008-06-16T06:56:00.009-07:00

Fond memories of sitting on these chairs drinking alcohol and eating gluten

8:04 AM

Breakfast: No coffee, no yogurt, no cereal. I am seriously addicted to cereal. I eat it as a snack throughout the day - Life and Kashi's Go Lean are my favorites. Yogurt is my only dairy besides ice cream. My morning cup of yogurt is routine. Almost essential. And then there is coffee. Remarkably, coffee is less important to me than the other two, but I still truly miss it.

I forgot to buy lemons for my water and some green tea. I found another website, but it just kind of makes me feel like I'm part of a weird club.

2:44 PM

Lunch: Kept busy teaching the kids how to clean a kitchen floor so I didn't eat until late. Harry cried (it was an amazing dramatic achievement) the entire time he was vacuuming the floor. You should have heard him when I asked him to continue into the back hall! Made a salad with tomatoes, red peppers and romaine lettuce. Poured this AMAZING stuff I found at Costco - Fresh Accents by Aromatica Organics - over the top. It is a "...versatile blend of nuts seeds, dried cranberries, vegetables, garlic and onions." I also snacked on soy nuts which I am finding a bit addicting. I also had a corn tortilla with Hot Chipotle hummus. After this I was definitely looking for sugar. Ate some grapes and actually feel like the craving has passed.

6:46 PM

Dinner: Worked out twice today. This wasn't intentional. I use a trainer weekly and thought our appointment was at noon, but it wasn't till 1:00 PM. I couldn't find a sitter and asked if I could do a playdate swap with my friend, Kristin, who has kids the same age. Since I had coverage for the kids I decided to just stay and do some cardio. My trainer switched our time to 4:00 PM and I did some strength training with her for an hour then. Right in the middle of my session, I got a searing headache. First side effect, I suppose. I was pretty hungry when I got home. I made myself another salad, but added black beans on top. I also had some soy nuts and tried my bread with almond butter. It didn't taste like cardboard! After that "meal" I have to admit I was craving sugar and coffee. I decided a shower would distract me, which it did.

9:17 PM

Headache got really bad about an hour ago. Took some ibuprofen - it probably has sugar in it - but I needed some relief. Headache isn't gone, but much better. I'm exhausted and heading to bed early.

Overall - not too bad. I definitely need to try a larger variety of foods tomorrow.

So? Who's joining me????

On a positive note, it will be better than fasting and I won't have to count any points.

2008-06-15T17:44:00.004-07:00

A little over a week ago, Heather mentioned that she had been reading the book Quantum Wellness by Kathy Freston. I believe she heard about it on Oprah. It's a comprehensive approach to bringing about balance and positiveness to your life. One of the things that the author suggests is doing a 21 day cleanse. My first reaction was obvious. What? Give up caffeine, sugar and alcohol? What's left? However, after further discussion - and reading the book myself - I am ready to take on the challenge.

I explained to the kids what I was going to be doing and asked them if they wanted to join me. They ran screaming "Noooooooo!!!" from the room. I coerced Ella back and asked her if she would at least accompany me to Costco so I could purchase enormous amounts of fruits, nuts and vegetables. She agreed only because she likes it when the processed chicken nuggets are out for sampling.

Afterwards we headed to Whole Foods to buy gluten-free, sugar-free products that might somehow accommodate my need for snacking on crunchy, bread/cracker/cereal-like products. There aren't any. Every time I found something that looked good, and was gluten-free, it had sugar in it. I stumped two workers in my quest for these items. Both gentlemen asked me why I would take on such a diet. They assumed I was sick. I found that pretty interesting as I didn't think that what I will be attempting to do is that terribly crazy.

The guy from the bakery department was determined to help me find something. Anything. We finally found some bread. I asked him what it tasted like, and without skipping a beat, he replied, "Cardboard." I told him I had agave nectar, so I could slap some of that on it and I'd be good to go. ( I am not supposed to have molasses, honey or artificial sweeteners, but I can have agave nectar and stevia.) He actually knew what I was talking about and told me that it would definitely help. As he handed me the bag, I noticed that there was a packet of some sort inside the bag. Kind of like the small, square pouchy-things that you might find in a box of new shoes. I asked him about it and he paused, looked around then kind of whispered to me. "Actually, this bread has a shelf like of a year. It's double-wrapped and has some nitric something or other in it. Just don't let it sit on the counter - mold will grow within three days of opening it."

Sounds healthy.

I did about three laps around the store finding sugar-free marinara sauce, rice flour spaghetti, "veggie" macaroni noodles among other WONDERFUL food items that I'll be indulging in for three weeks.

I unpacked the goodies on the counter to show everyone what I got. Not a lot of interest from anyone. I told them all that these were MY things - they had to eat their sugared, glutened, caffeined products - they weren't allowed to go near mine. The glazed over looks I received calmed me down. No one will touch my stuff. I'm pretty sure the Nutter Butters will look more attractive.

I am actually looking forward to this. It is supposed to help my body heal itself from all the toxins that have built up inside of it. (My liver, especially, will LOVE this little break.)

I'm pumped for this now, but know that it's going to be tough. I bought the most beautiful fruits and vegetables I could find. I'm hoping that will help this be a bit easier.

Tonight? I had a final Ben and Jerry's "Chubby Hubby" pint. The whole damn thing. I'm sick to my stomach, but happy. That's good, right?

Paradise lost

2008-06-14T05:59:00.003-07:00

Yesterday I dragged the kids out of bed and took them to the beach before they had a chance to even blink. I wanted to experience the beach at every possible time of day - and after sitting there last night at midnight listening to the surf - I believe I accomplished that!

We're leaving this morning and all of us are so sad. It was a perfect vacation. Except for not having Chris with us.

Next year.

For Daddy

2008-06-12T20:13:00.003-07:00

She's much more daring than I am

2008-06-11T21:13:00.003-07:00

Being the oldest person on this trip to Destin has been trying at times. I pride myself on acting and feeling younger than I am, but I'm usually not tested for days on end. Here - one big test. Fun, fun, fun - all day and night long. It's hard to keep up. Our days start slowly with computer time or the Wii, and then we meander down to the pool just as the sun is highest in the sky. I'm trying out for "Most Responsible Mom" so of course I lather my Scandanavian, fair skinned, blond children before they step into the pool for hours on end, or play on the whitest, most reflective sand I've ever seen. Some might say that the kids are a little, um, cooked. I prefer to say they have some "healthy color".

After pool or beach time, we usually stroll up for a snack and a nap. This is followed by happy hour and dinner preparation. After the kids are asleep, we've even gone swimming down at the pool a few times. This is when I start to peter out. I can't keep up as about 10:00 PM, when the youngsters are just gearing up, I'm shuffling down the hall to my room to collapse from the long and tedious day.

Today, we decided to change things up a bit and this old chick out did herself. We threw in a field trip to "Just Chute Me" - a parasailing company. I figured the name was an omen and made my final decision at the dock. No way. No how. Was ANYONE going to get me to go 800 feet in the sky. How stupid do my friends think I am? "It's easy," they commented and "It's peaceful." Sure, that's how I define "peace" - strapping myself into a nylon strap diaper, attaching myself to a single rope and then getting propelled up into the sky behind a boat that is traveling over shark and sting ray infested waters. Sure. "Peace".

Then Ella got involved. "C'mon, Mama - let's go in the sky," and I melted. I figured it would be a good mother-daughter bonding activity. Kind of like scrapbooking.

I'm so lucky

2008-06-09T19:50:00.003-07:00

This is where I get to be this week. Destin, FL

It seemed like a great idea at the time

2008-06-03T21:53:00.006-07:00

My mom was awesome. Always available. Loyal to a fault. However, she never once did a craft project with us. She did knit for us, and I vaguely remember a macrame' owl she created sometime in the 70s.

For some reason I have this latent Martha gene. God knows where it came from. For example, I made my own wedding invitations. They were even three dimensional! Who does that? (I just had a brief flashback of me screaming at Chris because he wasn't tying the ribbons on the "right" way.)

I don't do a ton of crafts, but we've had to buy two IKEA storage benches to contain all the baskets of drawing paper, crayons, pipe cleaners and felt. Oh - I almost forgot to mention the foam craze. We have at least 3 million foam stickers - alphabet letters, Sponge Bob characters, miniature feet and hands - you name it.

Last week I decided that we should make presents for the kids' teachers. Harry has two - each works five days on, five days off. Ella has two - one in the morning, one in the afternoon. Can't forget the lead after-care teacher. She needs something, too. And while we're at it, why don't we make their thank you cards.

Here is a photo of the cards we've made so far.

As you can see, we haven't eaten at the dining room table for about a week.

Tomorrow is the last day of school. We're not done with all of our projects. We have one picture frame to paint, and two wooden boxes to finish. Also, our notes are not all written. Oh, I just remembered that we need to bring homemade cookies to the Kindergarten graduation extravaganza. The teacher is creating a recipe book for all of us to take home, so I can't cheat and buy some.

If this rain lets up, and we have to go to baseball practice, I may be painting and baking myself. With a few gin and tonics.

Defiance

2008-06-01T21:45:00.000-07:00

I always believed, since the kids were babies, that something magical would happen when Ella turned six and Harrison became eight. It would become so easy to travel, go shopping, get things done around the house - all because I believed that their maturity and independence would allow this.

For the most part this is true. They can now buckle their own seat belts. (I cannot tell you the difference that has made in my life. It's so nice just to get into the driver's seat without crawling across two seats.) They can reach the toaster to pull out their own bagels. They can cross the street if they PROMISE to look both ways while I'm watching from the front door. These are all wonderfully helpful accomplishments, and I get goosebumps from the excitement of knowing that they are actually using toilet paper ON THEIR OWN, but it doesn't make up for the independent thinking that comes with this growth in fine motor skills and height.

Both kids have become a bit cunning. Harrison is more direct. If you tell him that he can't play with his new handheld video game, he'll talk you into letting him play one of the "learning" games. Never fails, though, that I'll let him play "Brain Age 2" and all of a sudden I'll hear the theme to "Star Wars". When I call him on it - he just says "sorry". You know how they say it...automatically and yet with a sing-song quality to it that tries to give it some bit of credibility. It kills me to know that he has figured out that I can't see through the walls when he's in the other room.

Ella is more passive. She will whine and pester to get something. She lulls you into thinking that you are the most wonderful, important person in the world and then BAM! - you've allowed her to talk you into two play dates on the same day, a trip to "Michael's" for MORE craft supplies AND ice cream for dessert even though she's WAY too full and can't possibly finish her chicken.

Put the two together, throw in a public setting and my stress meter goes through the roof. They giggle and whisper and come up with devious ways to terrorize me with the constant uncertainty that they could embarrass me at any moment. I have tried deep breathing...I must have pushed that so much with Harrison last year that now he senses when I need to do it and coaxes me into it when we're in a store and they've put their fingerprints on EACH AND EVERY glass showcase in the place. The breathing works for awhile - as does the valium - but the fear is ever present. They are getting too smart.

Damn.

Conflicts

2008-05-28T21:26:00.003-07:00

It brings me such great pride to see Harrison's joy of singing reflected in his face. It's so fulfilling to watch him give his full effort especially since he was in the front row.

We don't have many extracurriculars going on, but of course baseball and soccer practice are at the exact same time on the same day of the week.

Tonight the entire second grade put on a singing program about Africa. I, of course, had a prior engagement. One of the Top 10% students at the high school picked me as her "Most Influential Teacher". It was called the "Evening of Excellence" and I was duly honored. It was a meaningful event, but I hated to miss Harrison's program so I attended the dress rehearsal this afternoon.

In a week and a half, the kids and I are heading to the beach in Florida. We are completely estatic about this, but there is an amazing soccer camp opportunity for Harrison that exact same week. He would have been coached by professionals from England.

Every week-long summer day camp that I have found for Ella conflicts in some way with our 13 day trip to Minnesota.

August? WIDE OPEN.

IKEA run

2008-05-27T09:31:00.006-07:00

It rained this weekend, so we had a few choices - clean the house or head to IKEA. Duh!

We went to get some ideas for all the projects we have going on in the house. I'd love to redo the living room and dining room (pretty much paint only). Another room that needs LOTS of fine tuning is our family room. We "need" a flat screen TV and some kind of entertainment/storage unit. Also, we are adding a new office/guest room that will be MINE.

We weren't going to buy anything. Sure. Who can leave that place without at least a new dish brush?

I really like the clean lines of this set up.

The dining room project. Paint only - well....I wouldn't mind replacing the $50 table we bought from the want ads.

Here's an unusual desk/storage idea. You can see that Harrison loves it!

Another interesting look.

To keep the kids "engaged", we promised them a cone at the end of the excursion. As you can see, my kids have very similar personalities.

Chris truly enjoyed the entire process.

Birthday reflections

2008-05-23T13:58:00.007-07:00

His delivery was extremely traumatic. His days as an infant were exhausting. And today, as he turns eight, I actually have a hard time remembering those days even though I remember thinking then that I never would.

Second grade has absolutely been my favorite year with Harrison. He has changed in many ways. For example, last Fall he suddenly became a football fan. He would watch any NFL game that might be on and could stay engaged. I loved watching him pick a team (usually by color of jersey alone) and then cling to that team as if he had been a fan of theirs forever. What amazed me the most was that the loyalty would extend into emotion. If "his" team lost, he would get pretty upset, although not always appropriately as often his emotion would be anger towards the other team. He may have gotten this fanaticism from his grandmother. My mother used to clean the house on Saturdays with the University of Minnesota football games blaring from every radio in the house. They all had to be loud so that she could hear them from the bathrooms. I can remember her screaming if they blew a play, or lost a down. Sundays, however, she would sit and watch the Vikings play. Most often, though, she would get so emotional that she would have to get up and leave the room when things got heated or exciting.

His athleticism on the field has improved this year. Through last Fall, his soccer ability was fair. He was easily distracted and often had to be coerced into attending practices or games. This Spring has brought a new player. He actually has become somewhat of a leader on the team. It's as if his limbs and coordination are finally all on the same page. He also has gained a bit of speed. We have no idea where this came from, though, as neither his father or I are fast runners.

Academically, he continues to perform well. He still hates homework, but wants to please his teachers and hand it in done correctly. This quality is something I love and hate at the same time. I want him to want to achieve and perform, but I don't want him to be too hard on himself. I really don't like it when he gets a 94% on a math test and then berates himself when he sees the problems he missed. I never thought I'd have to worry about self-esteem issues this early with my boy.

I remember at the end of last school year, a neighbor was making some comments about the new principal. She was having a hard time making an appointment with her as she wanted to get to know Ms. K. I told her if she wanted to hang out with Ms. K - her daughter would have to misbehave and then she'd have lots of time with her. Yesterday Harrison mentioned, on the way home from school, that he had not been to the principal's office at all during 2nd grade. He even quoted the school's mission - "I've been responsible, respectful AND safe." It was so cute.

He hasn't changed too much physically this past year. He wants to keep his hair long like his older brother, but that's about it in the growth department. He's one of the shortest boys in his class and he and Ella's height and weight are identical. I am often asked if my children are twins.

Tonight, after his baseball game, we let Harry pick a restaurant for dinner. He chose "Noodles" because it has fast service and is relatively close to home. He really wanted to get home and finish working on the Star Wars Legos he received as gifts. He's become obsessed with Star Wars the last few months. He has watched most of the movies including one today - which he watched twice in a row. The kids were off from school and I decided to indulge him in that birthday wish. Now I don't know how to get him to stop humming the Star Wars theme song - or how to get the tune out of my head.

Happy Birthday sweet boy - what a joy you are to your father and I.

Grasshead

2008-05-20T09:24:00.006-07:00

I absolutely believe that Kindergarten is the best thing ever invented!

"How to drive your parents crazy - a guide book for all kids" by Harrison and Ella

2008-05-19T17:36:00.002-07:00

1. Ask for toys/candy/computer time non-stop.

2. Suck on your straw hard enough so it makes noise - then pull it out of the glass and let the drink drip onto the table.

3. Say you're "SO full" after a meal and then BEG for dessert.

4. Run around in Costco, or the grocery store, until someone gets hurt.

5. Talk and giggle at bedtime in your bed. (Harry and Ella share a room)

6. Pick at your sister or brother and then run to a parent and tattle.

7. Leave the door open just enough so the air conditioning or heat pours out.

I hope they always have this much fun together.

2008-05-16T11:26:00.002-07:00

Happy Birthday to me

2008-05-12T20:28:00.003-07:00

Gin and Chocolate - how else does one celebrate turning 44?

Overachiever

2008-05-11T15:14:00.002-07:00

While I was slowly reading the paper, catching up on some blogs, etc. this beautiful warm Sunday morning (no snow in our yard) - my husband emailed me this picture. Attached was a message that told me that he made it to the top of Big Mountain in one hour and 42 minutes...it took him about 60 minutes to get home.

Aren't all mountains big?

Harry thinks a tiara would be an awesome accessory for me.

2008-05-08T20:13:00.008-07:00

I have so much to say about work, but I can't yet. Chris suggested I start writing the "tell all" post, to be published much later, just so that I can get some of my frustrations off my chest. What I can say is that things were looking up, but now I've hit a bit of a bump again. I'm not going to get too worried, though. What good will that do? It just causes stomach aches and insomnia.

On a positive note - I am truly enjoying the kids more. Harrison and Ella had a fun school event tonight. I usually hate these things, but liked this one. I mentioned to Harry that his teacher had been smiling at me a lot lately whereas earlier in the year she barely acknowledged me. Chris mentioned something lewd about me looking "attractive" and that may be why Ms. C was ogling - I was laughing and appalled all at the same time, but mentioned that his theory might be true - I have been dressing up lately. Harrison piped in and stated that Ms. C always dresses up. "She likes to dress up because she used to be a queen."

I wish I had had a video of him saying that. His face was completely serious as if this was a completely normal explanation. We burst out laughing and between our gasps for air, and wiping of tears, we dragged it out of him that she used to be a rodeo queen when she was younger.

Only out west.

"I run for you..."

2008-05-06T08:20:00.006-07:00

Left: My mom's high school graduation picture, Right: My parent's wedding day

I'm fairly positive that life relentlessly throws things at you just to keep you hopping. Right now I'm feeling tired. I've been in a game of dodgeball for about 7 or 8 weeks now. Since I can't write about the progress of my work situation yet, I will write about what else is bugging me this week. I wish I could talk to my mom.

My mom died over two years ago. Some days I rarely give it a thought. Other days I think of her often, but in a casual "remember when..." way. And then there are the days when someone will say something, or I'll hear something, or even see or smell something that will cause me to burst out in tears. Today I heard that Melissa Etheridge song, "I run for life", and nearly broke down right on my spinning bike during our cool down. If you know someone who's had cancer, who has cancer, or you yourself has cancer - then you'll understand the emotions that swell inside of me when this song is played. Two years ago in May, I was completely pumped to run the local "Race for the Cure", but last year I couldn't do it - 2006 was too painful. I just didn't find any fulfillment in running with a bunch of other people who have been deeply affected by breast cancer. That song was blaring from speakers throughout the race. Since then, I can rarely listen to it without tearing up.

This Saturday I am going to try it again. I'm not exactly sure why, but I want to contribute and I usually enjoy races. Chris' company is forming a team. There are going to be thirty of us. Many from his office, many spouses and friends. I'm hoping that the light-hearted atmosphere, that a team will probably inspire, will keep me positive and hopeful.

I feel like two awful injustices are colliding this week. My mom's death and my work issues. I know the work issue is pretty clear, but I do feel that my mom's death was an injustice also. She never asked for cancer. She ate healthy her entire life and never had any vices. She always saved for a rainy day and never indulged. She was always thinking of the future - would she have enough money for my college fund? for my brother's? enough cash to buy a new car outright? and of course enough invested for retirement. I feel cheated and I believe she does too. She was my best friend and most loyal and staunch supporter. I think daily of how outraged she would be about all that has gone on to me at my school. But I guess that's what moms are for.

Unconditional love.

Still a tad bit bitter

2008-05-03T16:52:00.002-07:00

Right now I'm hoping that she wants to become an engineer or architect instead of an educator.

I need longer arms

2008-04-30T20:31:00.004-07:00

When life throws you curves, it forces you to reflect. Truly. The insomnia is AMAZING for reflection!

What stunning realizations have I come to? One, actually. I am so lucky to have these three particular people in my life.

It's confirmed - he's literate

2008-04-25T18:00:00.005-07:00

Yes, he's still in love with Baby Seal

Chris: What's your sister buying from Ronco? (Ella was in the other room watching TV and there was a loud, annoying commercial on.)

Harry: She's buying Mighty Putty on ebay.

Me: How do you know about ebay?

Chris: Yeah, you're only in 2nd grade...

Harry: I read a book.

Finally - she's found a REAL hobby!

2008-04-25T04:28:00.005-07:00

Strategy

2008-04-24T04:34:00.002-07:00

Had a fantastic meeting with a person "in the know" - her advice is to follow district policies for filing a grievance AND to do some serious PR work. I LIKE her style.

So, today I will start the ball rolling (by mentioning this advice to one person) and see where it lands. Board members and the editor of the newspaper should definitely know my name by the end of the day.

AHHHHHHH!!!!!! This is crazy. I still haven't slept. I don't know how I can keep this up much longer.

(Maybe I'll just go get drunk with my friend, Heather Armstrong - you know her, she's the really bad parent.)

one step forward, two steps back

2008-04-22T20:14:00.002-07:00

The step forward. The meeting went better than expected. The dress definitely helped. Sounds pretty silly, but I truly think it gave me some extra confidence (far be it for me to believe in my abilities!) My union reps were impressed with my "performance". I think they were worried I would turn into a defensive, sniveling wimp - but I didn't! I said a few things that I needed to say, but didn't get everything off my chest. It wasn't the time or place.

A step back. The district isn't backing down even though it did something unethical.

Another step back. I found out today that someone has been lying that I trusted.

This entire process is awful. As I told the biggest, big whig today in the meeting - I'm devastated by all of this.

Dazed

2008-04-21T20:24:00.004-07:00

The last few days have been exhausting. I hesitate to write too much, due to the nature of what's going on at work, but this is my outlet.

I know someone is mad at me. I know many people feel sorry for me. I have become somewhat of a martyr for everyone who has been wronged at my school. I know someone feels guilty.

What I don't know is exactly why I was non-renewed. I have a meeting with all the integral parties tomorrow. I abhor confrontation. Should be fun.

I have fears, insomnia and overall anxiety - so I bought a new dress for the meeting. If it doesn't go well, I'll kick myself for not getting a new pair of shoes.

It was a bit windy yesterday

2008-04-20T06:25:00.002-07:00

This branch used to be attached to a very large, very lovely tree in my front yard.

Gourmet livin'

2008-04-19T18:21:00.002-07:00

I hesitate, and even sometimes shudder, when Chris offers to go to Costco for us. I love the idea that I don't have to go, but I know that he WILL go crazy and over buy.

After re-arranging the frig and freezer to cram all the new items he brought home this afternoon, I tried to find a positive in this latest Costco experience. I turned it into a learning experience - a math problem.

We now have enough hotdogs to feed the kids one daily for the next three weeks.

Distant memories

2008-04-16T20:11:00.002-07:00

This rock totally reminds me of Ziggy (the cartoon)

Ever been to your own funeral?

2008-04-16T05:01:00.003-07:00

Joshua Tree National Park

I brilliantly left my power cord for my laptop sitting on the floor of the hotel room in Palm Spring...thus my lack of posting. I have 44 precious minutes left of battery still waiting for the Fed Ex package to arrive from Rosa - a lovely housekeeping manager. I doubt she knows how much I love her for finding and saving my cord.

The last two days have been a roller coaster. I have never felt so much anxiety in my life. I still don't know why I was "non-renewed", but have learned that I am well liked and respected by others on my faculty. They are rallying around me like and I have to admit it feels nice. It doesn't take away the nauseousness, shakes or grapefruit-sized knot in my stomach, but it does help.

I am definitely in the angry mode. I think that's better than the "woe-is-me" mode. One thing I do know - being back is HARD. Rum and cokes with Heather daily was much more fun.

I have plans in my arsenal thanks to an incredibly supportive husband and group of supportive friends. I'm really not sure why this happened yet - and may never know - but I'm not ready to embrace it. It totally sucks, but on the bright side - it's a great weight-loss plan!!!

Is Harrison only 7?

2008-04-13T19:42:00.003-07:00

Finally! A warm day!

Harry: I don't like tuna.

Chris: You've never tried it.

Harry: Yes I have.

Chris: Where? When? We've never served it to you.

Harry: Yes, you gave it to me for lunch.

Me: No, honey, I'm pretty sure we've never given you tuna. When was this?

Harry: In 1970.

Palm Desert didn't know what hit it!

2008-04-09T08:58:00.002-07:00

There's a reason the word "wise" is often used when referring to old people.

2008-04-09T07:06:00.003-07:00

Well, I need to find my sweater - the high today is only going to be 76 degrees. Somehow I think I'll manage!

This week has truly been a blessing. I was given time to calm down, listen to LOTS of advice and really do some internal searching. The main theme of the advice has been - Take the High Road. On Saturday afternoon, I couldn't even fathom that approach, but with each day of sunshine, rum and relaxation - I begin to consider it and even embrace it.

Some people have told me that I just need to get over it. Others, that I shouldn't go back since the way I was told was so unprofessional. Most people, though, are telling me that this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It may take me a few more days to completely believe that, but I know deep down that I will soon.

Just to clarify...

2008-04-08T06:53:00.005-07:00

I know dooce, I really, really like dooce, but I was not dooced.

No one at my school, near my school, or who may have graduated from my school, knows I have a blog.

Many drinks later...

2008-04-07T07:14:00.004-07:00

Going on vacation, immediately after learning that I wouldn't have a job next fall, was probably the best thing I could have done. Poor Heather has had to listen to me complain, whine and get angry for the last twenty four hours. She's been great about keeping it all in perspective, though. "F**k'em, you deserve so much better...let's drink!"

We're in Palm Springs visiting an old friend of mine and it's definitely therapeutic. I had a margarita by the pool yesterday afternoon. Drinks in our condo before dinner. Another margarita at the restaurant and then more back at my friend Monika's condo. Yep, who needs therapy?

Yes, I have a headache this morning, but nothing a little ibuprofen can't tackle. Today I feel calmer. I know that this is "for the best", but I just hadn't planned on leaving school counseling this way. I had visions of them begging me to stay when I quit. This is a little different. Now I don't even know if I can show my face next Monday. Think about it - I'm supposed to go back to work - for TWO MONTHS and act as if everything is fine. What do I tell the students? I have to tell some of them as I'm the advisor of a club and we're planning for next year right now.

Monika said yesterday that I have to go back and act completely professionally, or don't go back at all. I'm not to discuss it with anyone - just hold my head up high and continue to do good work. Ummmm, what? Me? Act like the bigger person? Not get petty? I honestly don't know if I can do that. C'mon! If I go back, I want to bash these people, behind their backs, because I'm a chicken shit when it comes to confrontation. I'm basically admitting that I don't think I have it in me to be the consummate professional. I will be officially entering my mid-forties next month, but today I feel like I'm 14. I'm just sayin' - if I had to go back today, I don't think I'd act terribly mature at all times.

So today the cleansing needs to begin. Less alcohol, fewer calories, exercise and laying by the pool are on my preferred agenda. Monika, the Palm Springs party girl, has other ideas, however. She has a lunch date planned for us at 11:00 and drinks and appetizers at 5:00.

I better go workout and try to get some of this out of my system.

On a personal note, Chris - I can't respond to your emails - something about a server connection error - but I am truly sorry that it's snowing in Salt Lake. (tee hee hee!)

Higher highs and lower lows

2008-04-05T20:43:00.005-07:00

Her face says it all. She was full of so many emotions today - she couldn't contain herself. She laughed, screamed and danced. We made purses, played "Pin the wand on Tinkerbell", decorated cupcakes and hit a Purse pinata.

Unfortunately, about 15 minutes before the party started I received a certified letter from my school. I was "pink slipped" - or I think the correct word is "fired". As a provisional employee (within three years of employment) the district can let me go without reason. I was naturally blown away. This came out of left field. No phone call - no sit down conversation - a LETTER! I suspected that I was not my principal's favorite person, but I NEVER believed that she would let that get in the way of our work. I am a good counselor. I have not received a negative review - in fact they were supposed to review me twice this year, but never did. I was never reprimanded or "talked to" about my performance - good or bad.

As the reality sunk in, I started to freak out. I actually broke down and started crying and shaking. Chris didn't know what to do until I yelled, "Go clean the bathroom floor - they'll be here any minute!" And then he made me a strong rum and coke - I didn't think a valium was appropriate.

After watching the joy that Ella experienced today, I was able to contain myself a bit and am slowly regaining composure about this situation. I needed to stay calm for her sake.

After the party, I emailed the attorney on staff with my union. What do they say in the commercials - wrongful termination? We'll see what he thinks. Luckily I have a week to mull this over. This upcoming week is Spring Break. At this point, I'm feeling so humiliated I don't think I can face anyone back at school.

California - here I come.

The big day finally arrived - she's six!

2008-04-03T19:02:00.005-07:00

I forgot to leave a note on the counter for her. I just left for work as if it were any other day. I know what it's like to enjoy a birthday - I still love my birthday, but pretend I don't care now that I'm an adult. Ella must have gotten her birthday obsessiveness from me.

I had major working-mom-guilt around 10:00 AM, so I decided to call her school and see if they would let me talk to her. The front office secretaries are not known for their graciousness, but I pleaded my case and I was patched right in.

"Happy Birthday honey!"

"Hi, Mama"

"Are you having a great day?"

"Yes. Guess what? Lucy asked me to be her partner for centers and Erin asked for me to go to the office with her."

"Because it's your birthday?"

"Yeah. And a lot of people are saying "Happy Birthday" to me."

I don't think it gets much better than that.

C.J.

2008-04-02T20:38:00.005-07:00

We babysat my nephew last week for a few hours. Chris took Harrison to the Jazz basketball game, so it was up to Ella and me to entertain him.

We did fine for awhile, but ran out of ideas pretty quickly. It was time for Ella to take a bath, so I pulled CJ in with us while I ran the water. He went to the water like a magnet. I had to strip him down and he just leaned up against the side of the tub and splashed in the water for about 30 minutes until his parents came. The funniest part was when he would start to slip backwards...his feet were on the bath mat, and since he can't walk yet, he would slowly slip back until his chin was practically propped on the side of the tub. I would grab him - pull him back up - and the process would continue.

I love her to death, but GAWD she's a lot of work!

2008-03-31T20:53:00.005-07:00

Ella's birthday is on Thursday. Her party is this weekend. It's hard to believe that it's almost here. You have to understand...Ella's birthday is a major event around our home. She has been planning her birthday since last summer. She plays "birthday party" as often as other kids play "house". She's had an invite list for her party taped to her bunk bed for months. The theme for her party has changed at least 20 times. Finally, after months and months of planning and contemplating, she decided that she wanted to have it at the house.

Great.

If you know me personally, then you know how stressed this decision makes me. My house is not a castle - hell, it's not even as large or nice as the foyer of a castle. The idea of lots of screaming little girls inside my house for two hours pretty much makes my skin crawl. Cleaning, in preparation for this event, makes me even happier. My absolute favorite part of all of this? Planning the crafts and games for the party! (that was sarcasm) I am so uncomfortable with projects and Ella has requested that we make purses.

Sure. I'm on it.

So far, we have purchased one pinata (in the shape of a purse), handed out invitations and bought all the materials to make purses (and one picture frame for the male guest on her list). All I have left to do is clean, make cupcakes, buy icing/decorations for aforementioned cupcakes (she wants to decorate the cupcakes as a group), finish shopping for her presents, fill the pinata (did you know they didn't come filled?) and make one purse to make sure it works. I'll be working all week, and need to pack for the trip I'm taking on Sunday, but I'm sure I'll squeeze everything in with ease.

That's just the kind of gal I am.

Just when you think they never change

2008-03-28T20:29:00.004-07:00

Now

Then

Ellastyle - Easter

2008-03-23T11:54:00.003-07:00

2008-03-22T20:43:00.000-07:00

Classic

2008-03-07T21:25:00.004-07:00

We were walking back to the car after the University of Utah gymnastics meet tonight, and since the walk was about 15 miles, I had plenty of time to look at Harrison's coat. He's worn the same coat for two years. I spent more than I wanted (about $54) on a ski jacket at the Patagonia outlet. I mentioned to Chris how nice it was wearing, and that it still fit, blah, blah, blah.

Harry, who was running all around us - never on the sidewalk near us - ran up next to me and said, "It's because I don't eat my carrots."

Florida pics

2008-03-06T05:07:00.001-07:00

When we first arrived and walked into my dad's condo, I noticed a large "something" across the pond out his back door. I joked that it was an alligator assuming it was a log. Of course logs don't just fall onto golf courses from palm trees, so we looked closer. It was indeed an alligator that was about 8 - 9 feet long.
Ella definitely has gotten over her fears of swimming independently.

Harry - my wonderful boy who still refuses to pose for any and all pictures - was much too busy collecting each of the 70 billion "noodles" that were all over the pool.

Not the best shot, but I wanted to capture this moment. The day after we arrived, February 18th, was my mom's birthday. We decided to celebrate anyway. Ella decorated the condo with streamers and balloons (which my dad didn't seem to mind for a minute) and then we bought cupcakes, candles and even sang. It was pretty sweet.

Ella style. This was what she chose to wear to our first dinner at my dad's clubhouse. I just told her that we needed to dress up a bit. She loves to pose!

Here is a close up of the alligator. I may have learned how to post photos, but I do not know how to arrange them in a chosen order yet!

I just learned!

2008-03-05T17:37:00.002-07:00