tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post7686678574903866335..comments2023-10-12T06:08:05.804-07:00Comments on The Second Half: Mayble I'll have less time to fret if I get a full time jobCarolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07697664407174851116noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-92081320990302517032007-05-17T12:27:00.000-07:002007-05-17T12:27:00.000-07:00Wow! Well said. Can relate to a lot of your musing...Wow! Well said. Can relate to a lot of your musings about not knowing what to be when I grow up.<BR/>Enjoying your blog.The Spicershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08667011381331956751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-54823277152602023122007-05-16T15:13:00.000-07:002007-05-16T15:13:00.000-07:00I'm 47, the mother of a seven-year-old (also named...I'm 47, the mother of a seven-year-old (also named Harrison and also not that-good-of-a-listener at times!) We live in Alaska. <BR/><BR/>Your words really hit home with me. The comparing myself to others, the issues about weight and exercise, feeling my parenting skills are judged....etc. You put it all very well. <BR/><BR/>I've never posted a comment before but felt I wanted to this time. I'm going back to read your post again now....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-22723611254460880102007-05-16T07:48:00.000-07:002007-05-16T07:48:00.000-07:00I am in tears reading this. This is me. The older ...I am in tears reading this. This is me. The older I get the more I feel like a child. I'm 30 and in my second year of law school, after leaving a job in DC I loved to find more stability and community in my hometown and to be around family with my 6 yr old son. His father and I got married less than a year ago. I feel like all my son's friends mothers are judging me for having a kid when I was young and unmarried; for being at the beginning of a new career. They're all older and have taken a break or cut back at their jobs to have kids. <BR/>I feel like other students look at me as the old fat Mom and think what the hell is she doing here. The "older" students look at me like a kid. I don't fit in either box. I don't fit with any group. I have friends in the mommy world and friends in the law student world--but I feel out of place in both and don't have any true deep intimate friendships anymore. It's hard when the people around you only understand half of your life. <BR/>I think my son's hard time at school sometimes is because I'm not there enough--I have to study. It's because I'm not like the other moms and haven't/ can't do play dates. <BR/><BR/>I keep hoping these feelings will go away. For right now I'm wallowing and your words helped me to know I'm not so alone in my displaced feelings.Rissa Roohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13481710368666946769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-23526982975552707842007-05-15T10:28:00.000-07:002007-05-15T10:28:00.000-07:00my mom once said to me - how arrogant are you to b...my mom once said to me - how arrogant are you to believe that everyone else revolves around you?! Okay, OUCH, but still a good question. I still ask myself that at least once a day. Generally at the same time as wondering how many people have noticed not only am I not running as fast as them on the treadmill, I'm about to throw up. Stay sane. Take care of you and yours.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-2724899523368610462007-05-15T05:50:00.000-07:002007-05-15T05:50:00.000-07:00Carol,i found your blog through heather this am. ...Carol,<BR/><BR/>i found your blog through heather this am. wow. i read this post and i could have written it myself, except for the "43" part--i just turned 45. mom died 3 years ago, i have a masters in social work but have yet to get my licence (and i'm not quite sure i want to figure out "why not"), am working a scant 3 hours a week at the agency i interned at but otherwise am playing tennis and driving my kids places and i don't know what.<BR/><BR/>i have run a 1/2 marathon and just did my first triathalon, and instead of feeling great about the accomplishment, i think about all the women my age who did better than me and get down on myself for not being better, faster, stronger. and while i realize i am doing this number on myself, i continue to do it.<BR/><BR/>on a brighter side, my 16 year old daughter has more self-confidence than i ever had at her age and so i think maybe i am doing something right on the parenting front. the other two are works in progress, but she has seemed to survive me quite nicely.<BR/><BR/>it is hard, all this self-doubt and figuring out where it comes from and how to eradicate it or at least quiet the inner voice just a bit. is it cultural, familial, genetic--and why can't self-awareness make it go away? <BR/><BR/>i've added you to my blog list, really enjoyed reading back issues as well as this particular one. as i emailed it to a friend and commented, it hit many nerves and really resonated with much of how i feel.amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11992400990430388328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-53057277950747731732007-05-15T04:03:00.000-07:002007-05-15T04:03:00.000-07:00I just found your blog through Heather and I have ...I just found your blog through Heather and I have to save I love your writing. I am sad though that you didn't like Green Bay. I'm born and raised here and I love it. Of course I'm prejudiced but I'm interested in hearing what you didn't like about it. I just think we are so "homey". Maybe that's the problem? We're pretty small town.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-81787072826859224432007-05-14T19:12:00.000-07:002007-05-14T19:12:00.000-07:00I remember reading once - "You'd worry a lot less ...I remember reading once - "You'd worry a lot less about what other people think about you if you realized how seldom they do." Sumthin like that... It helps sometimes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-54930052375946226372007-05-10T20:27:00.000-07:002007-05-10T20:27:00.000-07:00I believe I was one of the 30 something friends. R...I believe I was one of the 30 something friends. Right? I feel extremely fortunate that our paths crossed back then. Think of all the highs and lows we went through together. Even though there are many miles between us, I still consider you a very close friend. I wish we could sit down and have another all night talk. I wish I had something uplifting to say, but I too am not happy with my big ol' gut and butt. J and M are, in my opinion, at yukky ages. I LOVE my job, but it frustrates me immensely. <BR/><BR/>I truly believe the elementary school-age child is the absolute easiest to parent. My oh-so intelligent teenagers are not excelling like I thought I had raised them to. <BR/><BR/>I put hours upon hours into the math lessons I teach each day. I get out of bed early so that I can be at school awake and eager to answer students' questions before school. I respond to all of my demanding parents' requests; I conference with them after school long after my contract hours are over and still there are students failing my Algebra class. Even though I am smart enough to know that the students are failing because THEY have failed to make an effort to learn the material, I know there are quite a few children I have left behind. <BR/><BR/>Life just isn't easy! However, each day there seems to be a bright spot or two that pulls me through. <BR/><BR/>Please check out<BR/>http://www.link4u.com/enough.htm<BR/><BR/>I Wish You Enough! Love, Meg :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-81972119606075721452007-05-10T16:19:00.000-07:002007-05-10T16:19:00.000-07:00As a neighborhood mom who is always left out, or t...As a neighborhood mom who is always left out, or the "third wheel" as someone once said. I started focusing more on what I wanted for me, my husband, my children. I doubt other moms look at you and worry about your weight! They are already worried about their own. I bet they admire you for being a full time mother, a part time career woman, and a extremely talented photographer, not to mention a mom who would do anything for her kids. It has been hard, but I bet there is a mother in your own neighborhood wanting a friend too! Reach out you don't know what you might find!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-5604174605834173912007-05-09T16:09:00.000-07:002007-05-09T16:09:00.000-07:00Can I just blatantly blame the changing of the sea...Can I just blatantly blame the changing of the seasons? It seems everyone's insecurities and anxieties and general feelings of ickiness have hit an all time high. <BR/><BR/>I'm in that boat. My worries at 30 are that I'll never have a marriage and family. That, while I'm losing weight now, I'm going to hit a plateau and just gain it all back. I went through most of my 20s as the chubby funny girl. I want to be the hot friend for once. It's a totally shallow way to put it, but I just want to feel worthy. <BR/><BR/>I'm sorry that I don't have anything positive to add, but sometimes it helps to know that everyone is struggling with something. And even if it seems silly to someone else, it can be totally real to the person who feels it and isn't any less important.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-66622033329090241402007-05-09T06:03:00.000-07:002007-05-09T06:03:00.000-07:00".......I moved to a town that I didn’t like and i...".......I moved to a town that I didn’t like and it permeated through my being. Let’s just say that no one would label me as “perky” or “effervescent” during the Green Bay years."<BR/><BR/><BR/>Let's change to "the Iowa years" and I bet you have me writing the same sentence 5 years from now.Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10711662607879816395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-34526271621664025592007-05-09T02:28:00.000-07:002007-05-09T02:28:00.000-07:00Dear Carol! As a long-time reader of your blog, I ...Dear Carol! As a long-time reader of your blog, I was often impressed by the amount of different things you do in your life. But I'm not awed by them. I weigh a LOT more than you do, but I know one thing for sure: Everybody is so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't have time to think all the things you fear they think about you. Heck, most of them are probably as self-conscious as you are and wondering what YOU are thinking about THEM! The "flaws" you're describing are just what being human is all about. Nobody's perfect. When I started jogging, I used a heart rate monitor and tried to stay in my target heart rate. This meant that I normal people on a walk passed me by... At first I felt a bit stupid, but then I kept grinning at them and they grinned right back... ;-) And you know what: The nice and good-hearted people, the ones that we want to befriend, tend to see our good qualities and don't notice the "bad things" all that much... And who cares what the bitches think and do anyway, right? Right! Hope you're doing okay and always remember: Nobody's really watching you, so you can just do whatever pleases YOU! All the best, Charis :-)) PS: Do you know how Beth and her family are doing? I sure miss her crazyus.com!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-27559839964658749722007-05-08T19:53:00.000-07:002007-05-08T19:53:00.000-07:00Your self-awareness is amazing and humbling all at...Your self-awareness is amazing and humbling all at once. I think you're miles ahead of most people in that regard.<BR/><BR/>And remember that children learn from what they observe. If you want your kids to grow up finding satisfaction in their life, then do you it yourself so they can see how it's done.Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05600990086628679521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9297210.post-10495777623670975712007-05-08T19:32:00.000-07:002007-05-08T19:32:00.000-07:00A lot of those things ring true for me also, at al...A lot of those things ring true for me also, at almost 41. A re-examining of where you have gone and what you have done with the first half of your life. Realizing you are no longer at the beginning of it all, and maybe wisy you'd done some things differently. But I say that it all gets us to where we are today, the good and the bad, and we learn from it all. I'd like to own a bed and breakfast somewhere on the coast of New England. Or own a little sandwich and pastry shop. When I retire I'd like to sell my house and buy an RV and spend at least a year travelling the country.<BR/><BR/>Unlike you, I've always tended to be a loner. The differences that come with age, and having a family and a child make it even harder to meet people or maintain friendships.<BR/><BR/>And I now weigh more than after I delivered. I used to always be thin. I wonder what people who knew me a few years ago think (negatively I assume) of the weight I've gained. <BR/><BR/>I too want my beautiful, beautiful daughter to know there are so many more important things than superficial beauty. And I don't want to teach her my hang-ups.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18112495156197262420noreply@blogger.com